What do you get when Ryan skips the pants, SCOTUS blocks Trump, and Iceland might explode? An episode of Stay in the Gray that’s as chaotic as it is hilarious.
This week, the guys tackle the Supreme Court decision to remove Trump from Colorado and Maine ballots, reveal disturbing truths about Christmas intimacy, and explore Icelandic volcanoes and wild folklore (think giant cat myths and creepy trolls). Add in Matt Rife backlash, an OnlyFans tangent, and awful group email etiquette, and you’ve got peak podcast energy.
🔥 Topics on the Table:
Ryan starts the show pantless, Trey tells a stripper story
Butthurt Comment of the Week: Triggered and thriving
Rashard Mendenhall’s "Whites vs. Blacks in football" take gets a reaction
SCOTUS rules to remove Trump from ballots in Colorado & Maine—what now?
Ryan’s Christmas PSA: Why the holidays aren’t the time for romance
Iceland’s volcano watch + terrifying Christmas folklore (yes, it's real)
Matt Rife slammed for a TikTok "duel" with a 6-year-old
OnlyFans rant: Where is this all going?
Awareness of Self-Awareness: Driving “right-a-way” rage and reply-all email abuse
📌 Chapters (Condensed):
00:00 – Intro: No Pants & Stripper Story
07:24 – Butthurt Comment of the Week
12:58 – Rashard Mendenhall Football Debate
14:15 – Trending Topics Segment
17:06 – SCOTUS Removes Trump from Ballots
23:16 – A Christmas Sex Warning
31:37 – Iceland Volcano Report
36:49 – Icelandic Folklore: Yule Cat & Trolls
47:08 – Matt Rife, TikTok Controversy & OnlyFans
54:30 – Awareness of Self-Awareness: Driving & Email Fails
00:00:33
None. Good evening, everybody.
00:00:47
Just a lick on your face before you started.
00:00:51
Well, there's a reason for that, Trey.
00:00:53
What is that? You know, I'm just going to let
00:00:55
everybody know right now and just let's get this out of the
00:00:57
way. I am not wearing any pants.
00:00:59
Yes, and what I mean by that is I'm in my boxers.
00:01:04
Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting here like bare ass.
00:01:06
You didn't tell me what was going to be that kind of party.
00:01:08
But you know, I thought about it as, like, you know, should I put
00:01:12
pants on? I don't need to.
00:01:16
I don't need to. Thank you for that.
00:01:19
I I see no reason to stand at this.
00:01:21
Point. No, we're good.
00:01:23
So try to keep your focus on the show, everybody.
00:01:28
Speaking of focus, I have a interesting headline for you.
00:01:31
Yeah, take it away from my pantsless body.
00:01:34
Well, this kind of works out well.
00:01:37
It's about a stripper. OK.
00:01:41
A solid 9 inch turd fell out of a stripper's butt while
00:01:47
performing on stage. Oh, that's so disgusting.
00:01:52
Oh, it gets better. Well, hold on, hold on.
00:01:54
I love how you said it fell out. It just like dropped.
00:01:56
It fell out while she was performing on stage.
00:01:59
Requests for her lap dances are up.
00:02:03
Oh, you've got to be shitting me. 300%.
00:02:09
Oh, that's insane. Why are we so sick?
00:02:12
Why are people so sick? I just in the in the of course
00:02:15
the comments were pretty funny, so it's coming to the stage.
00:02:17
Cinnamon. Oops.
00:02:18
Let's take a quick 5 minute break.
00:02:22
I wish I had been there to see that 9 inches just fell out.
00:02:25
No work. She should change her stage name
00:02:29
to Fiber. Well, I got to tell you, the
00:02:32
first thing I thought was, man, that one probably hurt, but.
00:02:36
So the first thing I thought of there was somebody there to
00:02:40
measure it. Maybe there was.
00:02:42
They were just guessing. Came out there like that's a
00:02:45
nine incher. Wow.
00:02:47
Yeah, that's OK. All of that is disgusting.
00:02:49
There's nothing about this story that I want to continue on here.
00:02:53
Is there anything do you have? Is there anything about that you
00:02:56
want to? Forget making it rain.
00:02:58
She's starting a shitstorm. God, I bet.
00:03:04
I bet I know her song. Let me see that Tootsie roll.
00:03:10
That's OK. All right.
00:03:12
That's good. That deserves the moment.
00:03:18
You know, I told people early on, you know, 50 something shows
00:03:21
ago when we did our first two shows and all we talked about
00:03:25
was pee, pee and poo poo. I said, you know, we're we're
00:03:27
improving, we're maturing, we're getting better at what we do,
00:03:31
our lines are going up, right? And here we are talking about a
00:03:36
nine inch piece of shit. They came out of a stripper.
00:03:39
They just straight came out on stage.
00:03:43
Yeah. You know how I always say like I
00:03:44
have so many questions. I just, I don't.
00:03:47
What was she on to where she didn't realize she had to go to
00:03:49
the bathroom? I mean, how does 9 inches just
00:03:52
slide out without even? Realizing did was she laugh?
00:03:55
Did she hit the the pole like the wrong way or?
00:03:59
I don't know, man. I mean, like, I know when I have
00:04:02
to go potty, well, it's just like that.
00:04:04
I can't imagine. I know when I have a, you know,
00:04:07
4 inch, much less a nine. Right.
00:04:09
Well, OK, now everybody knows 4 inches.
00:04:15
OK. Anyway.
00:04:17
All right, Trey, thank you for that.
00:04:19
You're welcome. Jesus.
00:04:21
Christ started with a bang. OK.
00:04:26
All right, I'm glad I don't. I'm glad I've never frequented a
00:04:30
strip club before. Can you imagine, Can you imagine
00:04:32
being the next performer on that stage?
00:04:35
Oh God. Hopefully you slip on water.
00:04:37
Well, I mean, did they have a team that like runs up there and
00:04:40
just like cleans it real fast? Well, Can you imagine?
00:04:44
I mean, were they, were they impressed by this 'cause?
00:04:47
I mean, the fact that it was inches, maybe there was like,
00:04:50
wow. And then they cleaned it up.
00:04:53
But I don't understand why her dance numbers are so high now.
00:04:57
I don't understand what's appealing about that.
00:05:00
I get it. If there's a a weirdo out there
00:05:02
that's like, you know what? That was impressive.
00:05:03
That means your anus is gaping. And I'm interested in that.
00:05:09
Like, you know what I mean? Let.
00:05:10
Me tell you a story from a strip.
00:05:11
Club No you. Don't wanna hear, you don't
00:05:13
wanna hear. Yes, I do.
00:05:14
Damn it. OK, so.
00:05:16
But I don't. But I do.
00:05:17
But I don't. So when I was just a young boy,
00:05:19
oh. God.
00:05:21
We went to the strip club and what we did is there was a group
00:05:24
of four of us that would go. I mean, we'd go Tuesdays,
00:05:26
Wednesdays, Thursday, whatever. Anyway, so we.
00:05:29
I'm familiar with the group. To make it funny, you had we
00:05:33
took turns. You had to go up and tip
00:05:35
whatever girl when it was your turn.
00:05:36
You had to go up and tip the girl that was on stage, no
00:05:39
matter what it was. What were you tipping?
00:05:41
Was it decent? You know, like.
00:05:42
Couple bucks here. I mean, you just wanted to get
00:05:44
up there and interact. We didn't want everybody just
00:05:47
sitting there on their asses. They're like, oh look, here come
00:05:49
the Chodes again. They give me a dollar.
00:05:50
Yeah, so you had to. No matter the woman, you had to
00:05:54
go up there when it was your turn.
00:05:55
You, of course, even when it wasn't your turn.
00:05:57
If she was sexy, you can go up there.
00:05:58
Well, sure. Anyway, so this one young lady
00:06:01
came out and we quickly realized that we do not need to tip her.
00:06:09
She proceeded to get down into like a twerking stance.
00:06:14
And like ass facing you. Maybe I don't remember which
00:06:19
woman was facing. It really didn't matter because
00:06:21
I. Feel like that's a.
00:06:22
There was literally, literally a rope hanging down.
00:06:26
No. We're like, Nope.
00:06:29
But I swear to God, there was a demographic that was going up
00:06:35
there and tipping this woman like crazy.
00:06:38
Yeah. So anyway.
00:06:40
The 1st 6 minutes of this show. Really.
00:06:42
About about this? You're welcome.
00:06:47
Goodness, I think we need to. You know what?
00:06:49
I'm gonna have to put a a a check on your headlines before
00:06:54
we do before. Before we go.
00:06:56
To run through some sort of sort of an algorithm to verify, but
00:07:01
anyway, in case anybody didn't know, now you have some
00:07:04
information about going to the the strip clubs and if you see a
00:07:07
rope hanging or if you see a a big huge piece of shit on the
00:07:12
stage. Go back to that.
00:07:15
You know, yeah. Act at your own discretion.
00:07:18
Yeah. OK, fair enough.
00:07:23
God. Speaking of of butts, the
00:07:27
butthurt comment of the week is this week isn't as exciting
00:07:32
because you know what, Trey? We didn't have a lot of butthurt
00:07:34
comments, so you know. Everybody's loving our shit.
00:07:37
Well, I thought. Quit saying shit.
00:07:40
I I I thought. I thought that some of the
00:07:43
topics would get a little bit and I think the ones I'm
00:07:46
starting to put out now might get some some pushback.
00:07:50
But you know the biggest pushback we got was when we
00:07:52
talked about the two college basketball coaches and the the
00:07:57
the difference between the salaries of the men's, the men's
00:08:00
coach and the women's coach and how they both have similar
00:08:03
credentials. But the the women's coach made
00:08:05
Kim Mulkey for Ellis. She remember she made like $50
00:08:09
million less over 10 years than than Calipari for Kentucky.
00:08:13
And and somebody goes, you know, 'cause you know, you and I
00:08:15
thought, OK, well, it's about revenue and they're not pulling
00:08:18
in the revenue and blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:08:20
We make sense. We make sense and we kept going,
00:08:22
right. Well, somebody and I think they
00:08:25
deleted it, but it since this is the mindset that is keeping us
00:08:29
in the dark ages and I'm and of course it was from, well, I
00:08:34
assume it was a woman. It was one of those coded names
00:08:36
again, yeah, but it's just like it's not keeping us in the dark
00:08:41
ages. It's just Trey and I like, we
00:08:43
gave you facts, We gave you numbers.
00:08:46
If you lose 6.6 million and you earn 11, you're going to
00:08:51
be be able to pay your coach more.
00:08:54
If it was two men's basketball teams and 1 lost 6.6 and one
00:08:58
gained 11, the coaches might make something.
00:09:00
Different exactly. And and just I think it was
00:09:04
because she won the national chip show.
00:09:05
Anytime you say something like women versus men, everyone gets
00:09:08
all riled up, even though they don't know what they're talking.
00:09:10
About Well, and it's really not women versus men per SE, on the
00:09:13
coach's side. It's women versus men on the
00:09:15
sport that's being played, Absolutely.
00:09:18
So yeah. That's a good point.
00:09:20
I mean, flip the script. If the man was coaching the
00:09:22
women's team and the woman was coaching the men's team, right,
00:09:25
I guarantee the salaries would probably be.
00:09:27
That's what you need to do different is take the success of
00:09:31
two women's basketball teams that are very similar over to
00:09:34
like 10 year period and the and the two coaches have been there.
00:09:38
One's a man, one's a woman and then compare it.
00:09:40
You can't compare it. You're right.
00:09:42
That's a look, I don't even know what we talked about it that
00:09:45
that, that. I mean that's it right there.
00:09:47
Men's men's basketball earns more money than women's
00:09:50
basketball, no matter who's coaching.
00:09:51
One quick note and we said they'd lost six point something
00:09:54
million. They won the National Champions
00:09:56
League. Can you imagine the other team
00:09:58
that didn't win? Or the team that the team that
00:10:01
won no games all year. How much did they lose?
00:10:05
You know, they were probably walking all the games.
00:10:07
I say that, but the team that like, doesn't.
00:10:09
Yeah, they have no bus, no uniform.
00:10:12
Bikes or something. They're all scooters.
00:10:17
But I say that, but that's the the reason they're not good is
00:10:20
because they don't have a a program and money put in and
00:10:23
money. There's no money to lose, but
00:10:26
anyway, so that was the butter. But we we got a good one and I
00:10:30
was hoping it well, no, no, hoping it was gonna be a bad
00:10:33
one. But for the segment, I was
00:10:35
hoping and it was in Russian. Oh, yes, yes.
00:10:38
So I thought, all right, here we go the whole, you know, maybe
00:10:41
they're thinking we're supporting them.
00:10:43
We're not. I know you've been practicing
00:10:45
your Russians, so I can't wait to hear this.
00:10:46
Yeah, I did. I did.
00:10:48
I had an interest in a Russian woman back then.
00:10:52
She was a young, a young lady when I worked a long time ago in
00:10:56
an office building and I would just kind of like, I learned a
00:11:00
few things. Oh yeah, just to go by and say
00:11:02
bad words. No, no, the like the the flirty
00:11:05
stuff. Oh, OK, You learned them.
00:11:06
She didn't. Teach me.
00:11:07
No, I yeah, I learned them so I could walk by and like, try and
00:11:10
impress her. And then the first one I did,
00:11:12
she kind of looked at me like I was crazy and I guess I got that
00:11:15
one wrong. The second one I did, she was
00:11:17
like, which I think was Hi, how are you Stras V puja vaite
00:11:21
sounds pretty good right? Sounds like I know.
00:11:23
Yeah, me were horny. You know you need a little in a
00:11:26
moment. Taking my pants off now too.
00:11:29
We're pantsless here in the studio.
00:11:31
She seemed impressed that I even tried.
00:11:34
But anyway, so I looked at this. That doesn't mean I know how
00:11:36
it's written. So we got a Russian comment and
00:11:39
it was written in Russian. I said this can either be really
00:11:42
bad or really good. Cool.
00:11:44
And I did the translator and. We got to read it without.
00:11:46
It was really good first. No, no, I I don't have it up
00:11:49
here. Hold on.
00:11:51
It's it's I but you. Build me up for.
00:11:54
That no, because none of the sound, the phonemes, the sounds
00:11:58
if you will, don't match the they're they're like shapes.
00:12:01
I don't, I don't know. I mean to me it looks like.
00:12:10
But my God, I thought I was in Russia.
00:12:12
I. I guarantee you that's
00:12:14
incorrect. Perfect.
00:12:17
That is not a correct accent. I would not have got the girl.
00:12:21
No. Anyway, so I looked this up and
00:12:24
it and it and it turns out it was very very nice, very
00:12:27
pleasant. It was like this is educational,
00:12:29
funny, educational, funny, full of laughs.
00:12:34
Like, I mean the the whole comment was just, that's
00:12:36
perfect. It was great.
00:12:37
So we have now. Well, I'm sure we'll be called
00:12:40
communists, but we have a Russian listener.
00:12:44
So thank you. Keep it up.
00:12:45
We'll maybe we should go on the other side.
00:12:48
That's pretty funny. Fuck Szalinski.
00:12:50
It would be Russian have Russian fans.
00:12:55
So that was but her kind of comment of the week real quick.
00:12:58
Remember when we did a story last show about Rashad
00:13:02
Mendenhall? Yes.
00:13:03
The football player that said that, you know whites, white
00:13:06
guys could shouldn't play or should give him advice and if
00:13:09
they lined up the black guys and the white guys, the black guys
00:13:11
would would win. He said it in a different way,
00:13:16
and I mentioned that in the Super Bowl, the biggest fumble
00:13:19
of his career was an opportunity to win the Super Bowl and he
00:13:22
fumble it for my team. For your Steelers, yeah.
00:13:26
Did you know that the person that caused the fumble was none
00:13:29
other than Clay Matthews? A a white, A white defensive
00:13:36
end? That.
00:13:37
Yeah. Either way, he came off the
00:13:39
edge. That's.
00:13:40
Hilarious. And and I got.
00:13:43
Holy shit, that's funny. For anybody that watches, check
00:13:45
out the picture. I've got it on the beginning of
00:13:47
the show. That's great of last show, so I
00:13:50
just wanted to mention it. Rashard, you know, Just think
00:13:54
before you speak a little bit. Don't.
00:13:56
Let the white guy take the ball from you.
00:13:57
I mean he. He and he did the The picture's
00:14:00
kind of funny, 'cause Mendenhall is slow.
00:14:01
MO's like, no, You know, like. Well, that dude was a beast too.
00:14:05
So well. Claim out you you right there
00:14:06
could there are worse white guys to to let get the ball from you
00:14:10
but that was quick. I need to be better prepared for
00:14:14
this. But what we need to do each show
00:14:17
is we've started last show, so new thing, we're on our way.
00:14:22
I like to look what's trending at this exact moment.
00:14:24
And right now we've got Joe Rogan.
00:14:26
OK, our fellow, I I'd almost call him a colleague.
00:14:30
Yeah, he works for the same company as us.
00:14:31
He does. Spotify, you know he he has a
00:14:35
little higher role with with Spotify.
00:14:37
Higher up on the. Total higher up.
00:14:39
Guess what else is trending? Trey.
00:14:40
Oh my goodness, this is giggum. I'm not even kidding #giggum.
00:14:44
So maybe some recruits that Texas A&M got, but I'm very
00:14:48
excited. I'm assuming you don't want to
00:14:51
talk about that one at all. Haley as VP, so I'm assuming
00:14:54
that's what's her name, The Republican.
00:14:56
Hey, what's her first name? I don't take a guess.
00:14:59
I just want to hear this. All I know is Rhonda.
00:15:02
Nikki Haley, Nikki Haley, Nikki Haley, Nikki Haley is.
00:15:05
It is it Nikki with an I or a? Why?
00:15:08
I think it's an. I think it's an.
00:15:09
I OK, the naughty ones are with an I.
00:15:11
Yeah, well, I don't know women. A woman that's named Nikki with
00:15:14
AY, though, do you? Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:15:16
I guess they could be. Hold on real quick.
00:15:17
We gotta get to this one. Hashtag Trump smells.
00:15:20
OK, yeah, gotcha. What the fuck?
00:15:23
That's some random ass shit right there.
00:15:27
I don't even know why that's making me laugh so hard.
00:15:28
It's just like what this is smells.
00:15:30
This is trending. This is why I'm This is why I
00:15:33
want to do this every time This is trending it Why is Trump
00:15:36
smells so? You just put Trump and then
00:15:39
something after it, it's gonna. Trend Tell you what Another
00:15:41
Aggie trending is Elko, our new coach?
00:15:44
Some some stuff must be happening here.
00:15:46
Who cares? Trending in politics?
00:15:50
Sarah Sanders? Not familiar with her?
00:15:53
That Dion's Why Epstein Epstein Island.
00:15:57
Isn't that the OK? What's going on there?
00:16:00
Another political trend is Kristine Noem.
00:16:03
I don't know who the fuck that is.
00:16:05
Do you gnome or no Noem, Noem noem.
00:16:09
Noem. I don't know him.
00:16:12
You were hoping that was pronounced noem for that joke.
00:16:17
Marijuana is trending. Oh, let's talk about marijuana.
00:16:21
OK And then Stroud in sports. So I guess CJ, the quarterback
00:16:25
of the Texas. Oh, he's out.
00:16:27
OK, SCOTUS, Which is Supreme Court of the United States kind.
00:16:33
Of. A screw.
00:16:34
And I meant to talk about that and I didn't do it.
00:16:37
Crap. On our on our list tonight we
00:16:39
could let. We might have to do that real
00:16:41
quick. Grant Williams, Who the hell is
00:16:43
that? Do you know who that is, I
00:16:45
think? He plays for The Mavericks.
00:16:48
In my sports, Karl Rove I guess is a he used.
00:16:52
To play for the jazz. Not every not everybody played
00:16:56
for an NBA team but anyway so those are the trending topics
00:17:00
right now. So it's fun as it would be to be
00:17:02
talking about marijuana. Let's let's quickly go to the
00:17:05
Supreme Court of the United States and and I know this is
00:17:07
boring but the other day, sorry that's all all our listeners.
00:17:13
Well, the other day they they in fact, yeah, I I want to talk
00:17:16
about it because it was a it was a big deal.
00:17:18
Did you know that Colorado's Supreme Court, if you will, came
00:17:23
out and said that they have now said that Donald Trump cannot be
00:17:27
on their ballot? Oh yeah, I heard about this.
00:17:29
Yes. OK.
00:17:30
So we're not gonna talk that much about it hashtag the shit
00:17:33
out of it and and we're gonna but but the idea is do you think
00:17:37
that that's OK? I I mean I don't again, I'm not
00:17:40
gonna. I'm not gonna vote for Trump.
00:17:42
It's not. It's not like I'm sitting here
00:17:43
going, screw them, Trump's the guy, Yeah.
00:17:46
I don't get it. How does the state take a person
00:17:48
off of about Just can't. But can somebody actually write
00:17:51
that vote in? Sure.
00:17:53
OK, so it doesn't really matter if they take.
00:17:54
It off. So they're going to get millions
00:17:56
of of write insurance unless they're, unless they toss those
00:18:00
out. I don't.
00:18:00
I don't know. Hopefully Colorado has good
00:18:03
handwriting then, so they it still counts.
00:18:05
I don't. I don't understand the need to
00:18:09
do it. Is there fear he hasn't been
00:18:12
convicted. Well, why Colorado is he?
00:18:16
Was there. Well they just came out.
00:18:17
Now Maine's trying to do it and and really and so you're gonna
00:18:20
get some now. Now of course they're more blue
00:18:22
states than than red so they're more anti Trump and and that
00:18:25
you're not gonna have a Trump state or a or a Republican state
00:18:28
come out and do this now. Now, of course.
00:18:31
But now they're saying like, Texas should come out and and
00:18:35
throw Biden off the ballot and he gets all stupid.
00:18:37
It's it's just stupid. I feel like people are gonna
00:18:39
vote for Trump just because of the fact that somebody's taking
00:18:43
Trump off the car, you know, off the ballot.
00:18:46
That was one of my comments as well, Trey.
00:18:47
I don't, you know. Yep.
00:18:49
So it's like, what does that do to help you out?
00:18:51
What the left side doesn't understand, and this is coming
00:18:54
from 2 rather independent folk in the middle who you know, I'll
00:19:00
admit, the left is kind of annoying me.
00:19:02
They're just annoying me more than the right.
00:19:05
You can't. Every time you do this kind of
00:19:07
shit, you're actually driving people towards him.
00:19:09
You're indicting him, they're going, this is bullshit, like
00:19:12
he's not being convicted and they're then they go, well,
00:19:15
there's obviously something going on here.
00:19:17
You do this kind of shit and take him off a ballot.
00:19:18
That's what you can't eliminate your political opponent.
00:19:22
That's what fascism is. And they're accusing the other
00:19:25
side of fascism. Shit, you just threw a new word.
00:19:27
At me, you know we talked, we've talked about it before.
00:19:29
We don't need to get into it. And and that's what you know,
00:19:31
guys like Hitler and all these guys, that's what they did.
00:19:33
They eliminated political opponents and that's what
00:19:36
Colorado just essentially tried to do or is doing.
00:19:39
I don't think it's ultimately, I think it's got it, they'll
00:19:41
appeal it and all that and I think it'll and I just don't
00:19:44
think you can do it right. What do you think I mean?
00:19:46
Is this somebody that's trying to gain some?
00:19:48
Who knows? I heard one of He's not going to
00:19:50
win Colorado. Anyway, was that our soon point,
00:19:53
President Ramaswamy? He's Oh, yeah, my man Ramaswamy.
00:19:56
He said he said something if they take Trump off, that he
00:19:59
wasn't going to be on the ballot out there.
00:20:00
I was like, how does that? That's just stupid.
00:20:03
He's he's been interesting and a lot of people don't like him
00:20:05
because he they think he just kisses Trump's ass.
00:20:08
Oh, and I think I have theory. And then we'll move on, 'cause
00:20:12
this isn't a political show. Trey and I, we sound kind of
00:20:15
smart tonight. I think maybe it's going pretty
00:20:18
well. If you only knew until you shit
00:20:20
of what I'm talking about. Never ran into the mic.
00:20:21
Sorry, but you you ruined it. You sounded like you kind of
00:20:27
knew what was going on and then all of a sudden you're like, I
00:20:28
don't. Know well you you wrote down all
00:20:30
this stuff for me to say so. What was it that?
00:20:32
What was it? Oh God, I hate to movie quote
00:20:34
again, but somebody was it Will Ferrell worry.
00:20:38
He he didn't know shit. And then he finally, like,
00:20:41
spewed out old school, old school during the debate and he
00:20:44
spit it out and then he blacked out and he came back and he and
00:20:47
he said what what what just happened?
00:20:49
And he, like, you won the debate.
00:20:51
I do. Remember that?
00:20:53
Yeah. So Trey's spitting out all this
00:20:55
stuff, and then he's kind. Of I'll wake up here in a
00:20:56
minute. He's come back to to reality.
00:20:58
No, you just it just you can't do that.
00:21:02
Colorado has nothing to gain by it because Trump wasn't going to
00:21:04
win there anyway because they're more of blue.
00:21:07
My comment is, it sounds like you fear the guy.
00:21:10
Yeah, a little bit. I mean, that's what it sounds
00:21:12
like to me. And I would too.
00:21:14
I mean, like I said, I I'm not. I'm not.
00:21:17
I'm definitely. Look, if you want to call me
00:21:20
right wing for saying that, I don't know if I'll vote for
00:21:22
Donald Trump. And I definitely know that I
00:21:24
won't vote for Joe Biden. Yeah, then call me right wing.
00:21:29
But I think Vivit, we're talking about Ramaswamy.
00:21:31
I think Vivet Ramaswamy wants to leave his options open for vice
00:21:35
president. I think that I think he's 'cause
00:21:37
he's kissing Trump in the nicest way possible.
00:21:41
He's kissing his ass. I mean, he's basically
00:21:43
everything. Everything that that they say
00:21:45
about Donald, he's like this is bullshit.
00:21:48
He's it's almost like he's Donald, like Donald's little,
00:21:50
you know, sidekick, little puppet.
00:21:52
And I think, you know Donald chooses if he gets it, he
00:21:54
chooses his vice president and maybe that would be a good you
00:21:57
know he's a Indian man. Ramaswami remember we had that
00:22:01
whole butt that's a good butt hurt comment that that guy that
00:22:04
came out and yelled at me for calling me racist because I said
00:22:07
it sounded funny. President Ramaswami.
00:22:10
That would be awesome. I didn't say it was bad.
00:22:13
I said it sounded funny, but I like the guy and I think he's
00:22:17
got, he's a little car salesman. He, you know, he has a little
00:22:19
bit of the cheese ball in him, but he's he's got some great
00:22:22
ideas. He's a very intelligent guy.
00:22:24
So don't call me racist, 'cause I like the guy.
00:22:26
I I would vote for him if he was.
00:22:29
If it was him and Biden, I think I would go Ramashwami.
00:22:31
Well, what do you think? I hope he doesn't become a a
00:22:34
write in vote 'cause I don't know if I could spell that.
00:22:37
The only way to get him is write him in and everyone's like fuck.
00:22:42
Everybody spells it wrong. He gets 6 votes.
00:22:44
Oh shit. That would be hilarious.
00:22:46
Six people eaten Ramashwami. Six people's spelled it right
00:22:49
you you lost you lost Vivek. Sorry buddy.
00:22:53
So, so that's that's trending. So that was probably why
00:22:58
marijuana, Trey still needs to get high and we might do that
00:23:03
sometime on the show. Yes.
00:23:04
And we'll invite the people in his life that have said they
00:23:07
he's promised that he will do it with them first.
00:23:10
And yeah, we'll do it. We'll, we'll do that sometime.
00:23:14
That'd be a great show. All right.
00:23:17
Let me do a quick Christmas story that will spread the
00:23:20
cheer. I love it Christmas.
00:23:23
In case you you won't likely get this before Christmas,
00:23:28
considering Christmas is in two days.
00:23:30
Christmas Eve is in two days. Gotcha.
00:23:32
I'll do my best, but no promises, No promises.
00:23:35
But we did a little bit Christmas before the last
00:23:39
episode that came out to. Actually, I don't know when that
00:23:42
one's gonna. Trey and I have a lot of
00:23:44
content, we talk a lot. So anyway, we're doing a lot of
00:23:46
Christmas stuff and I hope everybody's having a great
00:23:50
holiday season and I hope that it is still going strong when
00:23:54
this comes out, which will probably be right before New
00:23:56
Year and week between Christmas and New Year's and be safe on
00:23:59
New Year's, you dumb asses. So this is a Christmas story
00:24:04
that I thought really needed to be told.
00:24:09
It's similar in my mind to the importance of the night before.
00:24:12
Christmas I like it. The build up is.
00:24:14
Great. The night before Christmas, and
00:24:16
it was, it's very, you know, all through the house.
00:24:18
Everybody knows that story and there's there's some message
00:24:21
there for kids and there's a a moral of the story and it's
00:24:25
family tradition and I think this needs to be a reminder
00:24:29
every year as well. OK.
00:24:31
That right around Christmas time, the statistics for penile
00:24:37
fractures, holy shit, go skyrocketing.
00:24:43
Skyrocketing. Really 43% higher.
00:24:46
Holy shit. Around Christmas that.
00:24:51
It's a whole lot of weird. Banging so you think about it.
00:24:54
And so I tried without reading further.
00:24:56
I said OK, what would be the reason for this?
00:24:58
And I guess maybe people are home more from work, so they're
00:25:02
banging, taking advantage. Yeah.
00:25:04
Is it all sexual intercourse? Is it somebody that that's by
00:25:07
themselves in the car? Holy shit.
00:25:11
Like they break it themselves. Maybe your trey's on his way
00:25:13
home one night and he he's like, I'll just take care of one real
00:25:17
fast and elongate my life. And, you know, maybe you have to
00:25:22
slam the brakes. Oh.
00:25:24
Shit. Something.
00:25:24
Happened. Yeah, yeah.
00:25:26
But in case you didn't know what a fracture feels like.
00:25:32
Please go. First, there will likely be an
00:25:35
audible snapping or cracking sound should you miss that.
00:25:40
If you miss that, you will not miss the immediately following
00:25:46
shock of searing, blinding pain. And I and I laugh at that
00:25:50
because every guy, look, you know, everyone that wants to say
00:25:55
you guys are going over the line.
00:25:57
Any guy out there right now is what we're talking about.
00:26:00
You've hit it, but you've hit that you've you've it's happened
00:26:04
before you felt like, Oh no, that hurt quite.
00:26:07
There's. Not a bone there.
00:26:08
So what's snapping? Is it cartilage?
00:26:10
Yeah, it's all that shit burst. Blood vessels, cartilage,
00:26:16
tendon. Yeah, just everything there.
00:26:18
And hold on, I'm not done yet, but I'm just reminding every guy
00:26:22
that when you think you've kind of hit that at least male,
00:26:26
female, sexual. And of course, I don't know
00:26:28
about the other. I mean, I'm sure that can happen
00:26:30
too, But there's that bone, you know, exactly what I'm talking
00:26:33
about. Everybody has hit it in the past
00:26:36
and you think that, you know, that was really bad.
00:26:40
Yeah, that's nothing. That's no.
00:26:42
That's nothing. There's no snap, penile
00:26:44
fracture, fracture. It leads to burst blood vessels.
00:26:48
And since those are what keep your little fella up, you'll
00:26:51
quickly lose your erection, which so you can't even finish.
00:26:55
Can you imagine trying to finish that pain?
00:26:57
Finally, you'll develop intense swelling.
00:27:00
Not the kind you want. Wink, wink, wink, wink and
00:27:03
bruising and other reasons. So God damn, when patients
00:27:06
present to their doctor, their penis looks like an eggplant.
00:27:11
And not in a good. Way, said the new studies
00:27:13
author. Great thing.
00:27:15
Holy. Crap.
00:27:16
Yeah, not in a good way. And that's exactly what it's
00:27:19
said. God almighty.
00:27:21
So anybody that knows an eggplant looks like.
00:27:23
I mean, basically what they're saying is this thing swells up
00:27:25
and it's purple and blue and it's, I mean women.
00:27:30
You think having babies hurts? I'm just kidding.
00:27:33
I'm gonna get so many. This one's, this one's going on
00:27:36
because we need more butt hurt comments this week.
00:27:38
Women giving birth. Wah wah wah, Getting penile
00:27:44
fracture around Christmas time too because you're trying to
00:27:46
enjoy, you know, your eggnog and your parties.
00:27:49
Exactly. So why do penises snap, crackle
00:27:52
and pop over Christmas? There are a few reasons.
00:27:56
First, most people get some time off work.
00:27:57
I just said that. I'll take credit for that.
00:27:59
I do remember that that was a few minutes ago.
00:28:03
With that time, they can catch up on things in quotes, such as
00:28:07
dancing the horizontal tango. Wait, we say horizontal, but the
00:28:11
tango may get vertical as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:28:13
And I think that's what they're saying, that this, this doctor,
00:28:18
no shit, this injury tends to occur during wild sex.
00:28:21
You think OK. Particularly positions where
00:28:25
you're not in direct eye contact, such as reverse
00:28:28
cowgirl. That's beautiful.
00:28:30
You see the doctor like trying to be all serious.
00:28:32
Reverse cowgirl. You know, that's beautiful.
00:28:36
I love it. You know, our men, our men.
00:28:39
Listener numbers are going to go way up and our women let you.
00:28:42
But women, we admire, you we admire.
00:28:46
You with that cheer? There's no reverse cowgirl.
00:28:47
Yeah, we admire your back a lot. What we can infer from this is
00:28:52
that people tend to go with it with more gusto.
00:28:56
I like that word on Christmas than other days.
00:28:59
And it's Christmas specifically, not just those weeks before and
00:29:02
after as Doctor Pierre Giddies notes, wherever the fuck that
00:29:07
guy's from, right? That the number of penile
00:29:10
injuries levels out again by New Year's, so it's back down.
00:29:13
OK, so I was wrong. It's not two years, it's I think
00:29:14
it's one week before, OK. And there might be a darker
00:29:19
side. Apparently the says doing like
00:29:27
they do on the Discovery Channel is the leading cause of penile
00:29:32
fractures and they occur during unconventional scenarios,
00:29:35
whatever that means. So.
00:29:37
Anyway, I think you I mean. Well, what he's saying is such
00:29:39
as an affair. Oh.
00:29:42
I was saying I was thinking, maybe the kids are in another
00:29:47
room. Let's take it true.
00:29:48
Although that for sure. But what he's saying is that
00:29:50
when you have an affair, you're kind of either in a hurry or
00:29:52
you're trying something different or you're being wild.
00:29:55
And then and then this is a great point.
00:29:57
How do you explain that to the to the wife?
00:30:00
We show up with a peanut, yeah. Why does your penis look like an
00:30:04
eggplant? Yeah, I don't know.
00:30:06
It just does. You can't.
00:30:07
And and so anyway. Ouch.
00:30:11
So anyway, let's address the swollen and hurting elephant in
00:30:14
the room. What should you do if you fall
00:30:16
to this? Go see a doctor, he says.
00:30:19
No shit. Anyway, that's my Christmas tale
00:30:24
and I think, no pun intended. And I I think, I think that I
00:30:30
think everybody should should remember this and you might
00:30:34
don't remember the details the train I gave you because look we
00:30:37
give you all the details and some of them might have not been
00:30:40
necessary reverse cowgirl loving women's backs things like that
00:30:45
whatever. That's out the window, but
00:30:47
around the holidays. It will not be fun if you
00:30:50
fracture your. Penis at all, At all.
00:30:53
So remember that on Christmas Eve when you're around your
00:30:55
family, tell every gather every boy and every male and tell this
00:31:01
story. Tell them to be.
00:31:02
Careful and be careful. And you know what?
00:31:04
Maybe the women should hear it too, because they can get a
00:31:06
little rowdy, right? It's not necessarily the dude's
00:31:08
fault. Yeah, take it easy up there.
00:31:10
Calm down. I know you're excited, but
00:31:12
anyway, that's my Christmas tale.
00:31:13
What? Do you think?
00:31:14
Thank you. I appreciate that.
00:31:15
Yeah. Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:31:19
I'll make sure. I'll make sure you use the extra
00:31:22
Lube. There you go.
00:31:24
Hashtag. Extra Lube on Christmas.
00:31:27
Yeah, Both hands. Oh, my God.
00:31:32
Oh, buddy. OK, all right, so let's go from
00:31:36
penis fractures to an Icelandic volcano.
00:31:39
A different explosion. Different explosion.
00:31:43
That was quick. I like that everybody.
00:31:46
Well, not everybody, but a lot of people need to know there was
00:31:48
a volcano that happened in Iceland.
00:31:53
Iceland has a lot of those, but not as many active as you would
00:31:56
think from what I knew. But this one apparently was it
00:31:59
caused caused like 90 earthquakes or something because
00:32:05
of it. And a lot of them were very
00:32:06
minor. And this happened near
00:32:10
Grendavic. That right.
00:32:13
Sun Shun. Schnurgeiger.
00:32:15
Yeah, heard of it. Yeah, I know.
00:32:20
You're trying to figure out like, wow, I didn't know Ryan
00:32:22
was from Iceland with that accent.
00:32:24
Do you have a T-shirt from Skungangkokkokk?
00:32:25
Yeah. OK Oh, and the sorry, the
00:32:29
Zvarzengi region. Oh yeah.
00:32:31
As well, that's up southeast. That's actually Southwest.
00:32:36
Oh, OK, it's close. They were.
00:32:38
That would have been great. But they those earthquakes were
00:32:42
a lower scale. Oh, OK, so and and Grindavik.
00:32:45
They were high, but they called this the Zvarzinski volcano, You
00:32:52
know, I think. It was the name of that
00:32:53
stripper. That's right.
00:32:56
The name of fur. Piece of shit to the floor.
00:32:59
The mountain had been dormant for 780 years.
00:33:04
Damn. So this one wasn't like a known,
00:33:05
I don't think you know. I'm not a not a geologist.
00:33:09
No. I don't know if 7 or 80 years
00:33:11
dormant means that it's active or not, or if it's supposedly
00:33:15
dead, like a dead volcano. I don't know that shit.
00:33:18
That's a lot of years to me. That's a lot of years.
00:33:21
I mean, we weren't around around then, so.
00:33:24
Right. Not even a little bit.
00:33:25
Not even close. So the latest was the most
00:33:30
powerful eruption, including when another volcano, Fagridal
00:33:35
Ish Fall, erupted it. But get this.
00:33:42
It erupted in 2021 after 6000 years of dormancy.
00:33:46
So here we go. So anyway the the lava spur
00:33:49
around 1.4 square miles they evacuated it.
00:33:52
It was the Rekines Peninsula which is 31 miles southwest of
00:33:58
Reykjavik near and it was really close to the major airport which
00:34:01
you flew into. I know.
00:34:03
And and so I wanted to bring that up.
00:34:06
And and and everybody was taken away and they just now literally
00:34:10
don't tell us we're not up to date on the show.
00:34:12
About an hour ago when I read it, it was 22 minutes ago.
00:34:15
But an hour ago or two they have been cleared to go back to their
00:34:22
village, to the home. And it's only I think it's like
00:34:24
4000 people live there. But they also warned them, like
00:34:28
it doesn't mean you're safe but you can go back.
00:34:30
Yeah. Like they little warm.
00:34:31
Yeah. They literally said it may be a
00:34:33
little. It's not.
00:34:34
Yeah. Yeah.
00:34:35
Just keep an eye out, like, OK And so unfortunately there a lot
00:34:39
of damage and a lot so people wanted to go back and just kind
00:34:41
of see what they were dealing with and and it doesn't look
00:34:43
great, unfortunately. What I wanted to tell you about
00:34:47
this is that something as basic as an Icelandic volcano, where
00:34:55
we feel for the family, especially over Christmas, they
00:34:57
can't spend it in their hometown, hopefully in Reykjavik
00:35:00
or wherever they're staying. They're having a good time.
00:35:03
There's got to be a dumb shit story.
00:35:07
There's got to be a one of our dumb ass.
00:35:11
The headline is Hiker was trying to reach the erupting Iceland
00:35:14
volcano, of course, so that he could see the lava close up and
00:35:22
he was rescued by a helicopter. Oh, I thought you were going to
00:35:25
say. The body No.
00:35:26
Yeah. Rescued by a helicopter as
00:35:28
authorities issued him a warning.
00:35:30
Oh, of course, yeah. And the only thing that I really
00:35:34
need to say about it was that. He's from Florida.
00:35:38
He's a tourist over from Florida.
00:35:41
No, he authorities gave him a quote, stern warning after he
00:35:47
was rescued. So he they rescued him.
00:35:50
They like basically pulled him up and they said he was
00:35:53
exhausted, cold, cold because it's still winter in Iceland and
00:35:58
shocked because he was halfway to the eruption.
00:36:02
Only halfway. He didn't even make it that far,
00:36:06
he said. It was extremely challenging.
00:36:08
No shit. Just psyched so police hope
00:36:12
people will think not twice but four times before attempting a
00:36:16
similar expedition. So I I won't go.
00:36:19
This is so bad. I just wanted to tell you that
00:36:21
somebody tried to reach the volcano by foot.
00:36:24
It did not go well. The helicopter picked him up and
00:36:26
said not a good. Idea.
00:36:27
And he wasn't from Florida. And he wasn't, I swear, he was
00:36:30
not from Florida. He was a he was an Icelander.
00:36:33
An Icelandic. An Icelandic something guy.
00:36:36
So a serious volcano happened, Dumbass tried to reach it.
00:36:40
Rescued by helicopters. That's that's my Iceland
00:36:45
Christmas. You know, my Christmas isn't
00:36:47
very cheery. Well, I've, I've got some
00:36:50
Christmas, Icelandic Christmas folklore.
00:36:54
So, so yeah, I I I was lucky enough to go to Iceland around
00:36:59
in December. Well, I love folklore and I
00:37:01
love, I think I love Iceland. I haven't been there yet, but
00:37:04
you have, and you loved it. I got to.
00:37:05
I got to learn a little bit about this while I was there.
00:37:07
Let me grab my laptop here. Icelandic folklore.
00:37:11
I'm intrigued. Sorry, I had to actually name
00:37:14
the screen. This is great.
00:37:15
So the folklore depicts mountain dwelling characters and monsters
00:37:18
who come to town during Christmas.
00:37:20
The stories are directed at children and are used to scare
00:37:23
them into good behavior. Only during Christmas.
00:37:25
They're not like, they're not like it's like a spring version
00:37:27
of these guys, just a Christmas. I like that better.
00:37:30
So the folklore includes mischievous pranksters who leave
00:37:33
gifts at night and monsters who eat disobedient children.
00:37:37
Hold on. Some of them leave presents.
00:37:40
And some of them meet children. OK, is that the naughty and nice
00:37:44
list? Sure.
00:37:45
OK, so the figures are depicted as living together as a family
00:37:49
in a cave and include forgive me for my Icelandic translation
00:37:55
here. Would you like me to do it since
00:37:56
my other ones were so perfect? Go ahead.
00:37:59
I want to hear you. So the first one is Grilla
00:38:02
Grilla, an ogress with an appetite for the flesh of
00:38:06
mischievous children whom she cooks in a large pot.
00:38:10
Oh, she's like a witch. Yeah, her husband, Le Polar le,
00:38:16
son of French Le Napoleon is lazy and mostly stays at home in
00:38:20
their. Caves.
00:38:21
Oh, he's chilling. Yeah, he just eats the kids that
00:38:23
she cooks, right? Hold on, let me step back real
00:38:26
quick. You said all of these creatures
00:38:28
are like in a like they live all together.
00:38:30
That's what the story the folklore is that they live in a
00:38:32
cave man. I like this.
00:38:34
Go ahead. So the next one is a Yule cat,
00:38:36
which actually they had a big kind of thing in the in the town
00:38:40
during Christmas. It's a Yule cat.
00:38:42
So they so people celebrate. This.
00:38:44
Oh, absolutely. And there's a lot of cats in and
00:38:47
out of the stores too, so they they like their cats out there.
00:38:50
That's all they have to do is drink up there.
00:38:52
They're so drunk. So the Yule.
00:38:53
Cat How big is this cat? When I was there, I mean the
00:38:58
statue of it was bigger than me. I've got a picture in front of
00:39:01
it and stuff so. Was it built up a portion?
00:39:05
I don't know. It says it's a huge and vicious
00:39:08
cat who lurks about the snowy countryside during Christmas
00:39:10
time and eats people who have not received any new clothes to
00:39:15
wear before Christmas Eve. So, so poor people look out,
00:39:21
even if it's a pair. I mean literally, even if you
00:39:23
get a pair of socks, you're safe.
00:39:25
A scarf, you're safe. It's got any article of
00:39:28
clothing? Since when?
00:39:29
The previous Christmas. Yes, on Christmas.
00:39:32
On Christmas, though, you got to get it on.
00:39:34
Christmas on Christmas. Oh, I I'm sorry.
00:39:35
I thought you meant the whole. Year I was like hopefully no.
00:39:39
So the next. But what if you don't get it
00:39:41
really? That cat eats your ass.
00:39:44
So everybody's like, here's some fucking socks.
00:39:45
Yeah, go put those underwear. You're good, right?
00:39:48
Cool. All right.
00:39:50
The Yule Lads are the sons of Gorilla and Lapului.
00:39:56
They're a group of 13 mischievous pranksters who steal
00:39:59
from or harass the population and all have descriptive names
00:40:03
that convey your favorite way of harassing.
00:40:06
They come to town 1 by 1 during the last 13 nights before Yule.
00:40:10
They leave small gifts and shoes that children have placed in the
00:40:14
window sills. But if the children has been
00:40:16
disobedient, they instead leave a rotten potato in the shoe.
00:40:23
OK, OK, 13 though like I'm this cave is pretty.
00:40:27
It must be big. It's a big cave.
00:40:29
They just I. Think they're considered trolls,
00:40:30
though, so they're like the little they just run.
00:40:32
Around and do a bunch of shit? Yeah, OK, Just what do they
00:40:35
leave in this shoe? Just different gifts.
00:40:38
Or, if they're bad, a rotten potato.
00:40:40
OK, the rotten potato. I mean cause heaven forbid you
00:40:42
get a rotten potato. Now these Christmas related folk
00:40:46
tales first appeared around the 17th century and displayed some
00:40:49
variation based on region and age in In modern times these
00:40:53
characters have taking on slightly more benevolent roles.
00:40:58
I would think I would be. I would think something so
00:41:01
outlandish would be like way before the 1600s.
00:41:05
You said 17th century. 17th century. 1600s To me, that seems
00:41:09
like they should know that this is kind of like, OK horseshit.
00:41:13
And this seems to me like something I'm talking about like
00:41:15
thousands of years before, like thousands BC kind of deal.
00:41:19
Yeah, like the Vikings of Iceland, you know?
00:41:22
Wait, wait, the Vikings weren't there that far ago.
00:41:25
Forgive our history. I'm just.
00:41:27
I feel like it should be a lot. Older so here's some fun the 13
00:41:31
Yule Lads with their what they do real quick here.
00:41:35
OK, so his Icelandic name is Steck Jarstar, which is a sheep
00:41:40
coat clod. I think it's from the Northeast
00:41:43
region. Right harasses sheep but is
00:41:45
impaired by his stiff peg legs. OK, and this is in order.
00:41:51
So this is he gets there on the 12th of December.
00:41:53
Oh. Giligalgar gulligalk is the
00:41:57
English translation translation. I think he's a hockey player,
00:42:00
right? Hides in gullies waiting for an
00:42:02
opportunity to sneak into the cow shed and steal milk.
00:42:06
OK. Stouffer or Stubby abnormally
00:42:10
short steals pans for the bits stuck to the bottom and brims.
00:42:14
He's bitter because of his name, right?
00:42:16
He's a stubby. We've got, Oh my God, Pavorska
00:42:20
liquor. Right.
00:42:22
No, that's good. Which is a spoon liquor steals
00:42:24
wooden spoons being used for cooking extremely thin from
00:42:27
malnutrition. A potske Phil.
00:42:31
A potscraper steals pots to scrape out the leftovers
00:42:36
askalaka cure a bowl. Liquor hides under beds waiting
00:42:39
for wooden bowls. Door slammer we're going to do.
00:42:45
The name enjoys slamming doors, especially during the night,
00:42:48
waking up the household. Door What was it?
00:42:50
Door Slammer or. Haruka Skeller Sky Gammer.
00:42:59
It's a skier. Gobbler has a great affinity for
00:43:02
skier a regional style of yogurt.
00:43:05
Oh. We've got the Oh my God Beejung
00:43:10
sketter kicker. You always go back to Asia and
00:43:15
you know, like. Beejong Sausage Swiper hides in
00:43:18
the rafters and snatches sausages that are being smoked.
00:43:22
Isn't that your stage name, Sausage Swiper?
00:43:25
Only in college. Oh my God.
00:43:32
Right. It's a yogurt brand.
00:43:34
Window beeper. A Snoop who looks through
00:43:37
windows in search of things to steal.
00:43:39
OK. OK.
00:43:40
Right. Yeah.
00:43:41
I got in trouble for that too. Got a Got a Pepper Doorway
00:43:45
Sniffer. Norway sniffer doorway.
00:43:48
Oh, they said. Norway.
00:43:49
Like, where'd he come from? Great.
00:43:52
All right. You can do it.
00:43:52
You can. OK.
00:43:53
I hear it. Take it seriously.
00:43:54
An abnormally large. Nose and a cute sense of.
00:43:57
Smell which he uses to locate leaf bread.
00:44:00
Is this your Is he your favorite of the 13?
00:44:03
Apparently. Damn it.
00:44:06
Kat Cooker Kerr Sure Meat hook uses a hook to steal meat and
00:44:12
kurtas neck occur. A candle beggar follows children
00:44:16
to steal their precious candles made of tallow and thus edible.
00:44:20
Do a lot of Icelandic children carry candles with them
00:44:24
everywhere? I guess I didn't see.
00:44:25
OK. So all of these were in order,
00:44:27
and we flew through them. Sorry, so it starts December
00:44:30
12th is when they arrived. That's what I mean.
00:44:32
So like each one you did is each day.
00:44:34
Yep, all the way up to December 24th.
00:44:36
It's like a really. And then on December 25th, that
00:44:39
first one then starts to leave all the way to.
00:44:41
January 6th, they go back. And they go back to The Cave.
00:44:44
So it's really like, it's like a messed up.
00:44:46
You know those calendars you get where you open the door and
00:44:48
there's a piece of candy and shit.
00:44:49
So this is like a messed up version.
00:44:51
This is like here we go and we get chocolate each day you open
00:44:55
the door leading up to Christmas.
00:44:57
This one is like, holy shit, you get stuff taken and you can't
00:45:01
say any of their names. Right.
00:45:04
Well, I can't, but they might be.
00:45:05
One of them has a huge nose, so that's I I don't care if anybody
00:45:11
doesn't like this. I'm fascinated by it.
00:45:13
I. Think it's cool.
00:45:14
It was actually pretty neat so when we were out there so.
00:45:17
So you you people were telling you kind of about a little bit
00:45:20
you were about you were out there around the holiday?
00:45:22
Season, right. And that was actually 2019,
00:45:27
December 2019. Yeah, I know.
00:45:28
Like I said, I wanted to go and the whole wife was pregnant.
00:45:32
And. That whole thing A.
00:45:33
Little bit of a drive for her to.
00:45:35
Yeah, her due date was very close to when you guys went, and
00:45:38
I just didn't feel like that would have been appropriate.
00:45:40
Bad. That was a good call.
00:45:42
It's, well, it's not like I could hop on a quick flight,
00:45:45
Yeah, from Reykjavik, right, You know?
00:45:47
It was actually a lot of fun, so you need to get there.
00:45:50
Like, Oh my, I had no service. I was at the volcano, checking
00:45:55
out the sights. I apologize.
00:45:57
He's not going to. Don't worry.
00:45:59
He's not going to remember. That daddy wasn't there.
00:46:02
I know my poor boys. I would never do that to them.
00:46:06
So yeah, that's cool. I like that.
00:46:09
So anybody that has any questions about Icelandic
00:46:11
folklore on Christmas, Trey and I are now well versed.
00:46:15
You're welcome. You're welcome.
00:46:16
Now hold on one second. Oh, I got a new phone, so I
00:46:21
gotta oh, back up. So anyway.
00:46:23
Oh. No, no, no.
00:46:24
I gotta say it. You're gonna say it?
00:46:25
I'm gonna say it everybody. In fact, we should have led with
00:46:29
this. Who cares that I don't pants on?
00:46:33
Trey is now an iPhone user. Everybody.
00:46:37
He has switched from Android and that's going to piss off half of
00:46:42
the people and half and then half the people are going to be
00:46:45
happy. And 'cause we did a poll and it
00:46:46
was about 5050, I think there were seven total votes.
00:46:50
I think it was 4 to 3. Seven votes, I think it.
00:46:53
Was four to three iPhone. So, so we win, The iPhones win.
00:46:58
So it was my mom, me. Anyway, so you got a new iPhone
00:47:05
and I've already helped them do like three things right.
00:47:09
So I've got a little story here about a gentleman that got some
00:47:12
backlash for getting a little bit of an argument with a six
00:47:16
year old. His name is Matt Rife.
00:47:19
Matt Rife. Matt Rife.
00:47:20
That name sounds very familiar to me.
00:47:22
OK. So the the six year old was a
00:47:24
little bit. Are you going to tell me who
00:47:26
Matt Rife is or you going to wait?
00:47:28
Just a comedian. That's all I was.
00:47:29
Comedian. Comedian.
00:47:31
Oh, I didn't hear that part. You didn't take it easy.
00:47:32
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:47:34
Matt Rife is a yeah. OK, that's him.
00:47:36
OK, OK. I'm gonna look him up.
00:47:37
Hold on. So the six year old was a little
00:47:39
upset about some of the jokes he had told recently on social
00:47:42
media. And some of these jokes.
00:47:46
A six year old. A six year old so during the
00:47:50
Special One. Tell Tell our listeners when a
00:47:54
six year old would possibly interact with Matt Rife or are
00:47:56
you about to get there? This is on TikTok.
00:47:58
I mean TikTok. Yeah, name's on TikTok.
00:48:01
I wonder how our six year old demographic's doing right.
00:48:05
For the show and our Tik toks, yeah.
00:48:07
Oh TikTok, sorry. Go ahead Matt Rife, 6 year olds.
00:48:10
He's yelling at them. So he's he.
00:48:12
In one of his little stand up deals, Matt Rife mentioned that
00:48:15
he was tired of women blaming bad decisions on planets they
00:48:19
don't even know. Says your future is determined
00:48:22
by your own thoughts, opinions, and actions you're in complete
00:48:25
control of how your future turns out.
00:48:27
Has nothing to do with stars, man.
00:48:29
Just because Jupiter has a ring and you don't, doesn't mean
00:48:32
that's what you're supposed to look up to for this.
00:48:35
Magical advice. You know what?
00:48:38
I'm not. I'm just gonna be silent because
00:48:41
my wife life, my wife is all about Mercury's discharge or
00:48:47
some what is it? Mercury's?
00:48:48
Mercury's. Retro.
00:48:50
Retro. What the fuck is it called?
00:48:53
Mercury retrograde. Jesus Christ.
00:48:56
Mercury's retrograde or something like that.
00:48:59
And so all of a sudden, something she does something
00:49:01
stupid and she's like, oh, we're in, we're in retrograde.
00:49:03
And I'm like, what is that? Even?
00:49:05
So this is what he's claiming, right?
00:49:07
So yeah, something like that. But then, towards the beginning
00:49:10
of his special, he also told a story about eating at a
00:49:12
Baltimore restaurant with a friend, and they noticed that
00:49:14
the female server had a black eye.
00:49:17
Oh, well, they they're in Baltimore.
00:49:19
They were wondering why the owner of this restaurant
00:49:22
wouldn't allow this person to work in the back.
00:49:25
You know to where the you know the questions aren't coming from
00:49:27
the customers. What's, you know, what happened,
00:49:29
what happened. But anyway, Rife joked that if I
00:49:35
feel or if she could cook, she wouldn't have a black eye.
00:49:40
So maybe she's not be back in the kitchen, so go on.
00:49:43
So anyway. I like this guy.
00:49:48
I shouldn't admit it on our show, but this is what Trey and
00:49:51
I've been talking about. I'm gonna let you finish before
00:49:53
I say I have comments. Go ahead.
00:49:54
So the six year old was upset about this.
00:49:57
He came. So the six year old found a
00:49:58
TikTok video of this guy saying these things.
00:50:01
Yes. OK, that's where I was confused.
00:50:03
And the six year old, the 6/6. He came to the aid of the lady
00:50:08
who's. Teaching the six year old that.
00:50:10
Like, First off, who's teaching a six year old?
00:50:13
Dry humor and sarcasm like that's it's not a literal OK,
00:50:17
all right. So deep breaths.
00:50:20
The the mom. Fuck the. 6.
00:50:22
Year old that, the son said. Actually, it's Saturn that has
00:50:26
the rings. It has more visible rings also,
00:50:29
her son said. And you're mean to girls?
00:50:32
Oh, OK, We'll take it easy. So the criticism, of course, of
00:50:37
a six year old got Matt Rife a little upset and he.
00:50:41
Oh my God, there you go after the six year.
00:50:43
Old He decided to respond to the six year old and hopefully if we
00:50:47
have any six year old listings, please turn it off right now.
00:50:50
Or come at us on our butt hurt comment.
00:50:53
He said Jupiter also has a ring O and Santa Claus isn't.
00:50:58
Oh no. He said your mom buys you
00:51:01
presents with the money she makes on.
00:51:03
Only fans, good luck. The only thing that was left off
00:51:10
was a mic drop. Yeah.
00:51:11
Oh man. So, yeah, of.
00:51:13
Course, well, I mean. Good for Matt Rife for out out
00:51:16
dueling a six year old, but still.
00:51:18
Be proud of that. I don't know what the six year
00:51:21
old I have, Trey. I have questions.
00:51:23
I don't know what the six year old was hoping to accomplish.
00:51:26
I don't know what the six year old has been told in his six
00:51:29
years of life that would make him feel like he's defend the
00:51:32
entire female species, right? Is it a race, female, race kind
00:51:37
of race? Female, Sure.
00:51:38
Whatever. It's females.
00:51:40
The ladies. I'm looking at this guy, he's
00:51:42
he's a pretty, he's a pretty boy.
00:51:44
He's like pretty, yeah. And I think I remember him now
00:51:48
and and and I love, I come at us.
00:51:53
I love that comedians can can come out now and and I'm seeing
00:51:58
more and more of it and I'm happy they they took a step back
00:52:01
for like 5 years now and now they're like, all right, enough
00:52:05
of this bullshit, like we're gonna make jokes and we're gonna
00:52:08
be real and I think look, Dave Chappelle probably LED that.
00:52:12
Front, he was wonderful. He did it.
00:52:14
He never, he never faltered. He never, you know, straight off
00:52:19
the course and kind of toned it down.
00:52:21
And guess what? He has made it and he's doing
00:52:24
specials and he's still there, right?
00:52:25
And I think he's inspired. I'm going to give the props to
00:52:27
Chappelle for it. It's probably a a a a bunch of
00:52:31
people that did it, but good for these guys.
00:52:33
I mean, look, the six year old's going to get on TikTok and talk
00:52:37
shit. It's he's fair game, right?
00:52:39
I think so. I think so.
00:52:41
And that that was my whole point about there's been so many times
00:52:43
where, you know, people come on and they, they get mad and they
00:52:47
ask questions to at a press conference or something, and
00:52:50
then they get mad at the response.
00:52:52
Well, you asked a question that was insulting.
00:52:56
You're a fair game. As soon as you, as soon as you
00:52:58
raise your hand, you're a fair game.
00:53:01
And honestly, I don't think that was that bad.
00:53:03
Bad of a no. No, you know, basic your mom
00:53:06
joke now modern day with only fans.
00:53:09
Yeah, let me tell you. And I won't get into details
00:53:12
because. How your only fans is doing?
00:53:15
No, we talked about your only fans.
00:53:17
Yeah, I was at dinner. My father's birthday was the
00:53:20
other day and we went with just, you know, the brother and the
00:53:24
two wives and and my dad and my stepmother.
00:53:27
And we ended the night talking about only fans.
00:53:30
OK. Because my dad didn't know what
00:53:32
it he didn't understand. Oh, OK.
00:53:35
And I think it has to do with Paige Spiridak, that golfer
00:53:39
girl. And I think he was curious
00:53:41
because she keeps promoting only fans.
00:53:43
That's her Paige he didn't get. And I said, well, Trey has one
00:53:46
too and he's he's he's only dad, he's only a dollar a month.
00:53:51
You can afford him. And of course, you know he, I
00:53:55
think, I don't know what his face did exactly but it wasn't
00:53:58
probably you're probably not going to have him as a as a
00:54:00
potential subscriber. OK.
00:54:03
My stepmom. Maybe more, but not.
00:54:06
They get a chuckle out of it. Well they, yeah, of course
00:54:09
because they they he that made it work.
00:54:11
He's like, I just. OK what?
00:54:12
Drake can do this like. He didn't understand.
00:54:16
Anybody can do it. You can put you're priced out.
00:54:18
You can leave on clothes. I mean, people are doing just
00:54:20
their feet, right, you know? That's crazy to me.
00:54:23
And we need to come up with something like pantsless behind
00:54:27
pantsless on our show or. Pantsless on the desk.
00:54:30
Maybe our podcast should just be like, stay in the Gray without
00:54:33
your pants or like something like that.
00:54:35
Or are you wearing pants? Or not?
00:54:36
Are you wearing pants or no? Yes or no.
00:54:38
And so so we talked about that so that's pretty funny that he
00:54:42
used only fans. It's it's just it's out there
00:54:44
and he you know what, I I think I'm on Matt Rife's side.
00:54:51
I don't see the big deal in it. Like I said, the response I.
00:54:54
I would don't let don't let your kid on TikTok if you don't want
00:54:56
him to be. More hate on the jokes that he
00:54:59
told as opposed to just saying this to a six year old I you
00:55:02
know. Was he getting, was he getting
00:55:03
some hate for the six year old? That's all he's getting back
00:55:06
there for is the six year. Old, so stupid.
00:55:07
Look, this six year old got on Tiktok.
00:55:10
First off yelled at the parents. Second off yelled at the six
00:55:13
year old. If you don't want to get
00:55:15
something said back then, don't say anything right.
00:55:18
It's like me going on now and like saying something on Twitter
00:55:23
or whatever and then and getting upset that somebody says
00:55:25
something back. Right, 'cause we're probably
00:55:27
gonna get some people upset that we said this, which is fine.
00:55:30
We want the interaction. Well, exactly.
00:55:32
I mean, I wouldn't post clips of R like I'm posting so much of us
00:55:39
and then it'd be like me sitting here going, Trey, why is
00:55:41
everybody saying stuff to us? I also forgot to mention that
00:55:45
following some of this online backlash he was receiving, Rife
00:55:49
actually put out a statement directing social media users to
00:55:52
a link offering an apology. Which that's nice.
00:55:55
To the people that are mad. To the IT says anybody that has
00:55:58
been offended by by a joke, he's.
00:56:01
Any of his jokes? Any.
00:56:01
Of his jokes he's told, please click on this link.
00:56:05
The link actually brought users to a website where they could
00:56:08
purchase special need helmets, so I don't know if that that
00:56:14
helped anything out or. Just, I may lose to it, like we
00:56:20
may lose some listeners, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna follow this guy
00:56:23
tonight, right? I like it.
00:56:26
You know, Look, laugh. Just laugh, people.
00:56:28
Jesus Christ. I can just.
00:56:29
I can hear everybody's buttholes.
00:56:31
Right Pucker. Yeah, just that was pretty good.
00:56:37
I am going to check out his stuff because he sounds like he
00:56:40
might have our humor a little bit.
00:56:42
Little bit, little bit. Well, good to hear him.
00:56:44
Let's do awareness tonight, an awareness of self-awareness.
00:56:49
You know, this is real basic driving again.
00:56:55
Now This is why I think people should take First off, do you
00:56:57
have one? I'm sorry, I just jumped, right.
00:56:58
Now go ahead. I like it.
00:57:00
You feel passionate about this one.
00:57:03
Well, I just. And you're not wearing pants.
00:57:05
Right. The more and more be aware of
00:57:08
whether you have pants on or off when you go.
00:57:14
I think everybody should go take a driving test.
00:57:16
Now I'm starting to think that, and it'd be a pain in the ass
00:57:19
for me, but I think it may be worth it.
00:57:21
Every year, every two years, every year you have to pass.
00:57:25
Every month, just fucking just something needs to happen
00:57:28
because the idea of a right away is lost on everybody.
00:57:34
No one gets it. No one understands that people
00:57:37
go and then they're like, woah, what did I do wrong when you
00:57:39
when I'm yelling at them and flipping them off and I try not
00:57:44
to yell too much because these days you never know.
00:57:48
Yeah, yeah. Especially these.
00:57:49
Days and I have. I have a little bit of road
00:57:51
rage, but it's it's it's from within the car.
00:57:54
If if if somebody did something and something happened, I got
00:57:56
out, I would be probably nice. I would be a little bit
00:58:00
perturbed, but overall I'd be, you know.
00:58:03
I'm a little Are you? OK, yeah.
00:58:05
But inside the car, it's on. Yeah.
00:58:07
When you can't do. When I'm fucking you up.
00:58:09
Yeah. When you can't, you can't hear
00:58:12
me. You're getting, Yeah, you're
00:58:13
getting everything I've got. Pull over.
00:58:15
I'm sorry. Man, Yeah.
00:58:16
Yeah, I. Didn't mean to get in your way
00:58:17
when you ran into me. Well, it's not that bad, but but
00:58:23
the right away thing gets me so, especially in, in roundabouts.
00:58:28
You don't have many of those in the United States.
00:58:31
I had a lot of them when I lived in Scotland.
00:58:33
But you get to this roundabout in a shopping centre and no one
00:58:37
knows what the fuck to do. I mean everybody sits there so
00:58:39
you got everybody kind of sitting there going oh shit and
00:58:43
and one person goes the next kind of goes and they half go.
00:58:46
One guy just speeds across and it's just everybody.
00:58:49
It's chaos that's one right away but the other right away to me
00:58:54
and and and it's gonna be hard to explain and I'm gonna try and
00:58:56
do it as best I can because my my street that I turn off of
00:59:02
onto our to the Main Street. It has this all the time and it
00:59:06
because the opposite side of the street comes out of a major
00:59:09
grocery store. OK.
00:59:11
So people, but there's not a left turn out of that grocery
00:59:14
store. So they have to turn right, go
00:59:16
to the turn lane that would turn to where I am and do AU turn.
00:59:20
Gotcha. And I'm going there and I'm just
00:59:24
simply turning right. And all these people are turning
00:59:26
to U-turn in that direction. Sounds like a cluster.
00:59:30
Pause, pause it and then do the math and then come back on for
00:59:35
all the listeners the bottom line is that I'm turning right
00:59:38
and people are U turning the same direction from the other
00:59:41
side of the road and they do not have the right away in that
00:59:44
situation they don't and I will start to turn right and I I
00:59:48
can't tell you how many times people have almost hit me turn
00:59:51
to turn and and I'm just I look at them and I'm just like this
00:59:54
is not your really like. Is the only option AU turn or
00:59:58
can they go? No.
00:59:59
They just they're U turning because there's no there's no.
01:00:03
Exiting that grocer, they can't go the other direction.
01:00:06
They have to take a right and then come back and U-turn.
01:00:08
That's the only way to do it which is stupid.
01:00:10
I think they they they should put probably put one in and so I
01:00:15
just feel like that's a perfect example of a right away
01:00:17
situation. There's just so many scenarios
01:00:22
when you're driving where someone just doesn't care that
01:00:25
they just don't have that it's not their right away.
01:00:28
I keep saying the the the phrase hashtag right away guy in and
01:00:33
one of them like I said was was when one lane is taken up on the
01:00:37
right side of a residential St. and you're on that side that's
01:00:42
you are the one that needs to yield to the other side, right.
01:00:47
Your side of the street is being blocked you are not you're it's
01:00:50
not your right of way right. You see what I'm saying away
01:00:55
right so so come up with you can come up with 20 of them right.
01:01:00
I'm giving you those right now. Look up right away, Look up your
01:01:04
driving and figure it out. Because man.
01:01:06
Please. This is why people get in
01:01:08
wrecks. And every day I'm just like
01:01:11
every time my kids in their car, I'm on defense.
01:01:13
Yeah, that's gotta suck having the kids in the car too.
01:01:16
Well, it sucks because they're learning a lot of words, yeah.
01:01:18
They should and yell at me when I come over here.
01:01:21
They already know them. Well, that's different.
01:01:23
You're just sitting there talking like no one cut you off
01:01:28
somebody. Could be I could be mad about
01:01:29
something. You come in and I cut you off to
01:01:31
the chocolate. Oh, OK, then I can cut.
01:01:34
You say something, I'll I'll at least forgive it if.
01:01:37
One of the kids get to the chocolate before me.
01:01:39
Yeah, yeah, I think that would be the one thing you would
01:01:42
battle you would actually fist by my kids over is dessert food.
01:01:46
I don't know. They're food.
01:01:48
I don't know. They're tough.
01:01:49
I was about to say I don't think I would do that.
01:01:51
Do you have any self-awareness tonight?
01:01:53
There's got to be something that you have.
01:01:55
Frustrates this shit out of me. Yeah, you.
01:01:57
I feel like you're very passive. I feel like I have 16 of them
01:02:00
every night. I'm.
01:02:02
I need to be self-awareness about writing it down when it
01:02:04
pisses me off. Self aware that you've been on a
01:02:08
podcast? What about reply alls?
01:02:10
59. And a company e-mail How?
01:02:12
About that or not? Even me off.
01:02:15
Not even a company e-mail. This is a good one.
01:02:18
I think we may have done something like this before.
01:02:20
I'm going to let you go because I just took yours and I'm like,
01:02:23
going with it. Go ahead.
01:02:25
I'm just saying, it's like you see an e-mail is like, you know,
01:02:29
a long explanation of something. Congratulate or something.
01:02:32
Next thing you know, boom, congratulations, boom.
01:02:34
That's a good idea. Boom, boom, boom.
01:02:36
It's like, what the hell, you know?
01:02:38
Just e-mail the person directly. Don't reply to the whole fucking
01:02:41
company. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
01:02:43
So. There's like sports pools where
01:02:45
the guy will e-mail everybody and there's six, 100 people.
01:02:49
It's like, thanks for playing, guys.
01:02:50
It was good, you know, had a good time.
01:02:52
And everyone's like, thank you, have fun.
01:02:54
Thanks. You're the man.
01:02:55
All right. Look forward to next.
01:02:56
Year. Yeah, stay cool.
01:03:01
And then other people reply all. They're like stop replying all.
01:03:05
To the reply. To the reply So it's like you're
01:03:07
doing the same thing. Yes, that's but phone ones too.
01:03:11
And I think a lot of people have just so tell me this and then
01:03:15
we'll end the show and you get the the group texts, which is
01:03:19
similar and that it doesn't have 600 people as as far as I know.
01:03:24
But you get on the group text and you don't care.
01:03:27
You're busy and everybody starts replying and you're like fuck
01:03:30
this. I haven't a problem with like
01:03:35
opting out of the alerts because I'm kind of like, what if
01:03:39
something said that I miss? Like what if I miss something
01:03:41
funny? What if I miss Tim over there?
01:03:45
Yeah, he's being a Dick. What's he gonna say next?
01:03:47
I wanna know. But I'm being interrupted.
01:03:49
So how do I put this on hold? And there's I haven't figured
01:03:53
that out yet, so I battle myself on whether to opt out of group
01:03:57
text. I've been in shitty moods before
01:03:59
where I've been part of group text and I've said please take
01:04:02
me off this fucking text. Stream.
01:04:03
Oh, you've told me. Yeah, you know, there's a way to
01:04:06
just do it. Well, I said.
01:04:07
Please take me off of this. Just to just to say yeah, but
01:04:10
you can do it without. Saying was I was pissed off and
01:04:13
I got tired of seeing the fucking back and forth with it
01:04:15
and I was just like, take me off of this, please.
01:04:18
I'm gonna put a group text for you every.
01:04:20
Well, I know we've done it with our friends too, so well, until
01:04:24
he finally responds. Yeah, yeah, it's it.
01:04:27
It is funny. You do a group text and like
01:04:29
it's like the one guy that doesn't respond and then like 3
01:04:31
days later you get a little one and you're like, oh OK, so you
01:04:34
did see this? Yeah.
01:04:36
Via group text. That's a good one.
01:04:38
I like that one. Group text.
01:04:39
Fair enough. Group emails, group texts and
01:04:42
reply them right aways. Don't reply them and don't reply
01:04:46
all. Especially if you're doing AU
01:04:47
turn when you shouldn't. Yeah, I mean, if you're hitting
01:04:50
Reply All while you're U turning when I'm trying to, it's a big
01:04:54
note. I wish bad things upon you and
01:04:56
your family. I wish that you have a penile
01:05:01
fracture over over Christmas. Yeah.
01:05:04
And that how much you can hold on the Icelandic pot stealer
01:05:09
comes to your win there. You go.
01:05:12
That's what I wish. Yeah.
01:05:13
On that note, how about we roll? All right, sounds good.
01:05:17
Love you guys later. I'm kind of curious to know if
01:05:47
the the stripper that dropped the 9 incher is is the mother of
01:05:50
this kid that was trying to back, you know, get in a fight
01:05:54
with Matt Rife. I think she's Icelandic as well.
01:05:57
Yeah, she's little kids. It was a little kid.
01:06:09
Oh, these are getting worse and worse.
01:06:10
All right. See you guys later, Jesus
01:06:17
Christ.