What happens when politics becomes stronger than friendship?
In this Fray Shot, Ryan shares a personal story about losing a longtime friend and bandmate after a simple political disagreement. Years of music, shared apartments, late-night rehearsals, and unforgettable shows were erased because of a single opinion posted online.
Ryan breaks down how political labels like “MAGA” and “Trump apologist” have become shortcuts that shut down real conversation. Instead of debating ideas, people now reduce entire human beings to stereotypes.
This episode isn’t really about Trump.
It’s about what happens when tribal thinking replaces human connection — when friendships collapse because people decide disagreement equals moral failure.
Ryan reflects on the bandmate he still respects, the music they created together, and the bigger issue behind it all: how easily society pushes people into political camps that erase nuance, individuality, and history.
If you’ve ever lost a friendship, family member, or relationship because of politics, this episode will hit close to home.
Because the real problem isn’t disagreement.
It’s how quickly people stop seeing each other as human.
If you enjoy the show, follow Stay in the Fray on Spotify and leave a 5-star rating. It helps the podcast reach new listeners who are tired of political echo chambers and want real conversation.
New episodes drop regularly covering politics, culture, media hypocrisy, and the gray areas most people avoid.
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That America should take care of our veterans before we funnel
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endless money and resources into people crossing the border
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illegally. That's all it took.
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He told me because of that statement that he was sorry he
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had ever met me. He said that I went hardcore
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belligerent MAGA and that he thinks that my podcast is just
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Trump apologetics. So instead of getting defensive,
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you're angry. I sat back for a few minutes and
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I thought about it. Once people stick one label on
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you, they stop listening to substance.
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No, I just refuse to join this weird religion where people
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define their entire existence by hating one dude.
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Welcome to Stay in the Fray podcast.
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I'm your host, Ryan. This is where headlines get hit
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hard, hypocrisy gets shredded, and the absurd are laughed at.
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If you want comfort, this isn't your place.
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If you want blunt and unfiltered, I'm your guy.
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Join me in the fray. All you had to do is just listen
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up. All right?
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There's something I've never really talked about on this
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show, and I don't really have a reason to talk about it
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elsewhere. But it's been sitting with me
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for years. And I think it's something that
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we should talk about given today's the temperature between
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the rivalry that's out there between left and right and all
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the bullshit. So I'm going to open up a little
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bit. A few years back, during the
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worst wave of division the country's seen since the 60s,
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someone I cared about threw our friendship in the trash over a
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Facebook post of mine. It wasn't a fight and there was
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no not an insult anywhere. It was a post, and I said
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something that I still believe 100% today.
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I said America should take care of our veterans, especially when
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many are homeless, suicidal, before we funnel endless money
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and resources into people crossing the border illegally.
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That's all it took. This is a guy I played in a
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bandwidth for years. Shows, rehearsals, late nights.
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We even lived under one roof for a while.
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That place was fucking trashed. But but memories.
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And he told me because of that statement that he was sorry he
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had ever met me. I mean, I heard a little bit,
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still does, because I love those guys in the band.
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Like we were brothers. I mean, you have to be.
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So I wanted to dissect. I want to dissect this mindset
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because there's a pattern. And he's commented it about it
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recently to a mutual friend. So fact that friend also was
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under that same roof for a while on an air mattress by the
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kitchen door. But come check out what he said
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because this is interesting and I think it says a lot about what
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I'm trying to do here on the show.
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This is stay in the fray podcast Fray shot.
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Let's roll. Fast forward to right now.
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Some mutual friends, middle-aged dads, back pain and and
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nostalgia have been talking about our old band reuniting for
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one last show and and not the band itself.
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I mean, these are friends of ours who just loved it and, and
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enjoyed it. It would be like one night of
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magic, you know, like kids would be in the crowd able to watch
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their father drum all of us back in our element.
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I'd love it. I'd love one more jam.
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I, I, I think about it more than they would probably imagine.
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I just just another chance of we built so much music together and
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it was so cool. I think it was a little ahead of
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its time. If you mix heavy, heavy
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rock'n'roll music with disco and jazz and Blues all in one,
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people aren't quite sure what to think.
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But there's this whole cloud over the idea.
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And it's my old guitar player, the one who shunned me.
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I'm not saying the other guys in the band don't think the same
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way he does or whatever, but this was a specific incident.
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So the mutual friend I was talking about reached out and
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asked him how he felt about the idea of having a reunion, and he
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said he heard that he and I were weren't on at the best place
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right now. And his response?
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Although he said he doesn't want any conflict with me, that's not
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what it's about. He said that I went hardcore
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belligerent MAGA and that he thinks that my podcast is just
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Trump apologetics. So instead of getting defensive
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or angry, I sat back for a few minutes and I thought about it.
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I mean, I've heard these labels and these buzzwords before from
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all the asshole trolls out there who won't leave me alone.
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But to hear from him, I thought I actually owed it some some
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true thought because I care about this guy.
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I mean, he was in middle school with us.
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He was, I mean, I don't want to be a villain in his story, in
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his life story. I wanted to think back to the
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great memories also. So I sat with it.
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I really thought about it. And here's the problem with the
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labels. Once people stick one label on
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you, they stop listening to substance.
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Let me clear something up for anyone who's confused about me,
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my opinions, or this show. I'm not a Trump apologist.
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People like to throw that word around.
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I've criticized him plenty. Do I criticize him as much as
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you'd like me to? Probably not, because I don't
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disagree with him as much as some of you do.
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I don't care that he does mean things, and I don't care that
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he's a smart ass. I'm a smart ass.
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I like it. I don't think any president is
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perfect or ever will be, including the one I voted for.
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But if I say that his policy that he's doing is working, or
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that law needs to be enforced or the borders should be secure.
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If I say veterans deserve housing before strangers break
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in, the law deserve hotel rooms. If I acknowledge that, yes, the
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man has been hit with investigations that turned out
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to be complete bullshit, suddenly I am an apologist.
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No, I just refuse to join this weird religion where people
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define their entire existence by hating one dude.
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They can't talk about crime in Minneapolis without shouting his
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name. They can't talk about federal
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arrest without turning it into some morality test about Trump.
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They can't acknowledge anything good without choking on their
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own rage. It's like a reflex.
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Something happens, blame Trump. Done.
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That's not politics, it's obsession.
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And I call it out because it's dangerous for this country and
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for us sitting here having our own opinions.
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And this idea that everybody that who voted for Donald Trump
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is, is like one thing, MAGA, same hat, same brain, same
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beliefs. It is nonsense.
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We are business owners, union guys, parents, immigrants,
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veterans, suburban moms, people who voted for Obama twice,
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people who don't even like Trump personally but can't align with
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the other side. There is no single MAGA person,
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just like there's no single Biden voter or liberal or
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conservative. We're all individuals, not
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fucking mascots. What I push back against on this
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show specifically isn't on behalf of Trump.
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It's against the mindset that treats millions of Americans
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like their one hive mind, one stereotype to mock, fear or
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dehumanize. You can disagree with me, hell,
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please do, but at least disagree with what I actually think, not
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whatever label someone else has slapped on me.
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So here's where I'm at with my old guitarist.
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I'd love to see him again. I'd love a chance to talk like
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adults. Doesn't have to be in politics,
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of course. No Facebook comments, no
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assumptions and no labels. It's two guys who made something
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that we were really proud of remembering.
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The world felt bigger than politics back then.
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That's the part that stings the most.
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Back in those rehearsal rooms, nobody gave a fuck who checked
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which box on a ballot. Nobody asked what news channel
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you watched. We cared about the next riff,
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the next show, the next laugh. Care about being brothers.
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He and I had a lot of talks about social issues, but we it
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wasn't tied to this. You either love the president or
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hate the president. It wasn't tied to that.
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It wasn't tied to these ideologies on the left right now
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where everything's got to be a protest and violence and
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attacks. Anybody disagrees with you.
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We talked about legitimate social issues and the
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differences we had between them. And then we go out and we
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fucking jam. If he ever listens to this dude,
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I, I respect you. I don't want an argument at all.
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Apologies aren't necessary from any side, I just want that 5
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minutes of real conversation where we stop being symbols of a
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fight that neither one of us started.
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I want us to be people again. You were one hell of a musician
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my man. You one of the best guitar
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players I've ever heard in my life and that's not an
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exaggeration. I was so lucky to play with you
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guys. All of you were such fantastic
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musicians. If the reunion ever happens, if
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it never happens, I'll understand it.
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It'll hurt. And that, you know, sucks that
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that that kind of dream can't can't happen.
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But if it does, it'll mean something deeper than just
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playing our old songs. It'll mean we finally stopped
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letting political branding destroy human connection.
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And that is why I do this show. Not to praise a politician, not
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to defend anyone's ego, but to defend my right and your right
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to think about being thrown into a box.
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That's the whole point of the fray.
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It's messy, it's human, and it's honest.
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What rattles me, what keeps me talking on this show, what keeps
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me pushing, is the way human beings are turning on each other
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over headlines and narratives that don't even belong to us.
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I'm not here to convert anyone at all.
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I'm here because I'm watching regular people get swallowed up
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by a mob mentality that punishes independence, isolates friends
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and destroys connection. I'm calling out that behaviour,
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the rage, the tribalism, the reflexive hate, because it's
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breaking up families, friendships, entire communities.
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It looks political because people make it political, but
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what I'm actually talking about is human reaction, human fear,
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human loyalty, human identity, and how easily that all gets
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twisted. The Fray exists because I refuse
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to accept that two people can't disagree without burning their
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whole history to the ground. Tell me what you think.
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If anyone else has experienced this, If you know me and know
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the gentleman I speak of, what do you think?
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Offer me other topics that you want me to hit.
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With this in mind, I'm ready. I'll I'll hit whatever you want
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and I'll leave out Trump's name if you will see you guys soon.
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Love you. All you had to do was just
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listen up.