Pilot Confessions: Duct Tape Fixes, Diarrhea Landings & Mile-High Hookups | Ft. Airline Pilot Tim
Stay in the Fray PodcastOctober 02, 2023x
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01:36:3888.48 MB

Pilot Confessions: Duct Tape Fixes, Diarrhea Landings & Mile-High Hookups | Ft. Airline Pilot Tim

🚨 Special Guest Alert: Commercial airline pilot Tim joins the show for a sky-high episode of chaos, comedy, and cockpit confessions. From emergency landings caused by diarrhea to duct tape on the wing—this episode pulls back the curtain on what really happens in the skies.

Topics include:

  • ✈️ Why pilots sometimes turn planes around mid-flight

  • 💩 The now-infamous “diarrhea passenger” that forced an emergency landing

  • 🛬 How crash landings are handled (and how often)

  • 😳 Hookups between flight crew—does it happen?

  • 🧪 Trey’s wild fact: you lose 1/3 of your tastebuds during a flight

  • 🔫 Are guns allowed in cockpits? Yes...and here’s why

  • 🛠️ Duct tape and Gorilla Glue used on wings? You bet.

  • 🏈 Tim’s fantasy football strategy that took him to the top

And to wrap it up—Tim joins our Awareness of Self-Awareness segment, calling out rude passengers who block walkways and fart mid-flight.


📌 Chapters (Condensed):

00:00 – Meet Tim + "Would You Rather" Game
13:50 – When Pilots Have to Turn Around
19:01 – Diarrhea Passenger Forces Landing
25:45 – Airport Circling & Midair Emergencies
35:15 – Tim’s Scariest Moment Flying
42:58 – Trey’s Flying Tastebud Fun Fact
44:00 – Crew Hookups in the Sky?
48:05 – How Planes Actually Take Off
51:05 – Duct Tape on the Wing Explained
1:00:10 – Crash-Landing Procedures
1:06:53 – Firearms in the Cockpit?
1:20:00 – Fantasy Football Talk: Tim’s Secret Sauce
1:30:00 – Awareness Segment: Walkway Blockers & Sky Gas


00:00:26
All right. I'm I'm turning this down early

00:00:29
because Trey is already laughing at something.

00:00:31
So let's go ahead and do that. Let's go ahead and jump in.

00:00:33
Yeah, let's jump right in. All right.

00:00:35
Yeah, we don't need to. I don't need to wait till this

00:00:37
part. OK.

00:00:38
What's so funny over there? My man Timmy over here is

00:00:41
dancing for us. That's right.

00:00:43
We have a special special guest in studio tonight.

00:00:47
God damn it. Finally.

00:00:49
It's what it is. What do you want?

00:00:50
His name is Tim and I. He's busy adulting and shit.

00:00:55
You need to make time for this bullshit.

00:00:57
Come on. I'm here, aren't I?

00:00:59
Finally. I've known Tim for a really long

00:01:01
time. It's been quite an honor, I

00:01:04
guess. What does that mean?

00:01:06
And he's here, he's, he's a airline pilot.

00:01:09
He even more exciting works in insurance and he's been a good

00:01:18
friend for a lot of years and so we're real happy to have him

00:01:20
here. He's got a lot of opinions and

00:01:23
and we're ready to roll. But before we go into that, we

00:01:29
have to talk about the things I've been talking about

00:01:32
recently, which are sensitive people, Trey and Tim real fast

00:01:38
because I want to get right to our guest.

00:01:40
If you remember when we had our first guest on, one of the

00:01:42
biggest criticisms was that we didn't get to our guest quickly

00:01:45
enough, right? So I'm in a hurry.

00:01:47
Hurry up. We're now not.

00:01:50
Fast enough. I've mentioned the last couple

00:01:51
episodes on how YouTube has a dislike button and that's new to

00:01:56
me. And so when I see a dislike

00:01:57
button, I get pissed. Or somebody that hits it even

00:02:01
though I have 96% likes. You get that 4% dislike and

00:02:05
you're like, what is this? Who really?

00:02:08
Well, butt hurt assholes. And so I just wanted to let you

00:02:11
know that the biggest amount of dislikes that we've received on

00:02:16
YouTube is about our bet on fat people getting on an airplane.

00:02:23
Really. I can't imagine why.

00:02:25
And I I wondered to myself, like what is are people really that

00:02:28
sensitive? And I said, well it's this

00:02:30
country is does have a lot of fat people in it.

00:02:33
So maybe it's just the fat people that are disliking it.

00:02:37
But I wanted to let you know that so we get not only disliked

00:02:40
Tim, but we get dislike. We got a dislike comment.

00:02:44
And this, my friend, relates to you as a pilot because it's

00:02:49
about, it was about our airplane joke greatness.

00:02:54
It was about, well, no, I'm sorry, that was the fat person,

00:02:57
the airplane. But, but I was talking about how

00:02:59
when you get on an airplane, I think we think there should be,

00:03:03
you know, how they have the little bag thing out there that

00:03:06
says if your bag is this big, you can't.

00:03:08
Oh shit, you. Have to put it under the plane.

00:03:11
Why do I see where this is going?

00:03:14
There should be a seat there also, and if you.

00:03:17
Can't write. OK, so why a second seat?

00:03:21
So funny. Sort of Funny story.

00:03:24
So my dad. My dad used to be a gate agent

00:03:29
for Southwest Airlines, OK? He had to deal with this all the

00:03:35
time, right? Because Southwest, back in the

00:03:37
day, this is like 2000. I don't know, 6-7, whatever it

00:03:41
was. They had a policy and they may

00:03:43
still have it, I have no idea. But they had a policy to where

00:03:46
if you couldn't, if you were over a certain weight or size,

00:03:50
I'm not even know what it is, but you had to buy two seats,

00:03:53
which I thought that was always a policy.

00:03:56
It might still be, I have no idea.

00:03:58
But so my dad, you know, he dealt with this every day.

00:04:01
He actually. So he was he in charge of, like,

00:04:04
having to tell somebody? Yeah, the gate agent.

00:04:06
The gate agents had to tell people that's why you need a

00:04:10
seat. And then he gets away.

00:04:11
He's like, I'm sorry, but you got to sit in that seat.

00:04:13
Yeah, and it's awkward, right? Like, how do you tell somebody

00:04:15
that? So he came up with this idea.

00:04:16
He's like, we've got these people go through these metal

00:04:19
detectors. Why don't we just add some?

00:04:22
Tabs or something to where? If they walk through it, that's

00:04:25
true, and they hit that, a ticket comes out.

00:04:27
You need to go back to the ticket counter.

00:04:29
Buy a second ticket. That's nice, he.

00:04:31
Sent this whole He had all these plants in it to the Patent

00:04:33
Office. Can you imagine though?

00:04:36
And. He was fired from fat shaving.

00:04:40
Can you imagine how a lot the lines are already long enough?

00:04:44
Most times like, well, I guess it's gotten better the last few

00:04:46
times, but every it's just like, Can you imagine the chaos if

00:04:48
somebody hit that? Hit that tab like they barely

00:04:51
hit it. Like, yes, Thanksgiving last

00:04:53
week, motherfucker. Like, I'm sorry.

00:04:54
Like, my ass. Too much pumpkin pie?

00:04:56
Yeah, yeah. I'm curious, have the dimensions

00:04:58
of the seats changed at all over the years?

00:05:00
They've been that. I don't think so.

00:05:02
But wasn't Southwest pretty small?

00:05:04
Like didn't they? Weren't their seats always kind

00:05:06
of smaller or was am I just making that up?

00:05:08
It was I. Don't know if they were smaller.

00:05:10
They were. Small that way, with the wise.

00:05:12
Yeah, like, like legroom. Legroom in between, Right.

00:05:14
Put more seats in the airplane. Yeah, right.

00:05:18
And I don't know, as an airline pilot, did you know that planes

00:05:21
can fly with only one engine? Really is.

00:05:25
That amazing. I didn't.

00:05:27
Know that. Man, that's.

00:05:29
I just wanted to make sure you knew that.

00:05:30
So anyway. Dude, mind blown.

00:05:33
I don't know what to say. I'm glad that Trey is here to

00:05:37
provide you with knowledge of how an airplane works.

00:05:42
I thought he would, you know, I just want to make sure I don't

00:05:44
know how that I don't know how it works is.

00:05:46
To me, that seems like you would just fly in a circle, right?

00:05:51
No. Is that wrong?

00:05:52
Do they distribute, you know? Airplanes got this thing.

00:05:54
It's called a tail and a rudder, like a boat, so you can just

00:05:58
shift it. If you got a, if you got a if on

00:06:00
one engine you you push the opposite ruder.

00:06:02
They call it dead foot, dead engine.

00:06:04
So if you're not pushing on the rudder with 1 foot, let's say

00:06:06
I'm pushing with my right foot, my left foot, just down, my left

00:06:09
foot's not doing anything. It means the left the left

00:06:12
engine's dead train are gonna steal a plane.

00:06:13
And the rudder keeps it down. The rudder keeps it.

00:06:16
So you got to be good with right and left.

00:06:17
But what if your what if your leg accidentally hit something

00:06:20
and you and you just miss it? Does that?

00:06:22
Is that what causes? What the fuck are you talking

00:06:24
about? All right.

00:06:25
Now that's. When he comes over, that's when

00:06:26
the. Explosion, they come over, the

00:06:28
radio said. What are you lenses?

00:06:30
Yeah, the seat belt sign is on cuz I just yeah, my foot got

00:06:34
caught. Let's wake these.

00:06:35
Motherfuckers up real quick. There's nothing down there, man.

00:06:39
There's two rudders. That's it.

00:06:40
Two rudders? Well, I don't know.

00:06:41
They won't pedals. They won't let me fly.

00:06:44
So. Two rudder pedals anyway.

00:06:46
Well, I can't wait to talk more about this, but before we do,

00:06:51
everybody that has watched in the last little bit knows

00:06:54
exactly what this book is. And it's gonna be fantastic and

00:06:59
it's a couple of would you rather's and and what I the

00:07:01
reason I do this is because it's a way to get to know our guests

00:07:05
and. This is for me?

00:07:07
You're gonna ask me? Well, I'm gonna ask straight

00:07:08
too, because it's his answers are I'd like to know.

00:07:10
I mean, everybody wants to know what Trey's answer.

00:07:13
He's got an interesting life. Most people can guess Trey's

00:07:15
answered by now, but but especially what it has to do

00:07:18
with like, the gay stuff. But Speaking of I'm just

00:07:24
kidding. This is for both of you and I'll

00:07:26
I'll I'll chime in with my my own opinion.

00:07:29
Would you rather get a hand job from a perfect ten or have sex

00:07:34
with a six? I'm easing you in.

00:07:37
I know my answer. I'm easing you in hand job from

00:07:39
A10 or or sex with a six. I don't think 6 is that bad.

00:07:44
No, I changed the number. I mean, I've never had.

00:07:46
I mean, it might have always been a bug.

00:07:47
I would say 3. Let's Let's bump it to three.

00:07:49
This is Bump it to three. I would do the six.

00:07:52
I would. I would take the six.

00:07:54
What about the sex with six? Absolutely.

00:07:56
Hold on. Hand job from A10 or sex with

00:08:00
two threes? The same two.

00:08:03
That would be two ones for me. No, no, Okay.

00:08:05
So you and I, we were in two totally different worlds when it

00:08:08
comes to that stuff. Now you wanna do the 2.

00:08:10
Threes over? I would do the two threes.

00:08:12
Oh wait, let's get some freaky shit going on.

00:08:14
But the six is OK. I like the six, so no one wants

00:08:17
to look at that 10. I mean, it's a 10.

00:08:19
That's a hand job though, yeah. But still, it's her and she's.

00:08:22
She might not even be into it, you know, she's kind of, well,

00:08:24
she's probably not, if it's one of us.

00:08:27
I'm just thinking high maintenance.

00:08:29
Trey Do 10 is high maintenance. I can't.

00:08:31
Would you rather have sex with a perfect ten and get herpes or

00:08:40
have sex with A2 but get a $20 coupon to Long John Silvers?

00:08:48
Wait a minute. Is.

00:08:49
Look, he's curable. No, it keeps coming back.

00:08:51
I mean, it's not. I mean, OK, I mean, not that, I

00:08:54
just. Go with the two and you want the

00:08:55
you want to do. Arby's or something?

00:08:57
Do we have to? It's, well, it's.

00:08:59
I don't know, man. Long John Silvers.

00:09:00
That's diarrhea sense. Yeah.

00:09:01
Yeah, I mean, it says long Johns, but you know I'm willing

00:09:04
to switch. So we all agree that you're

00:09:07
probably you don't want the herpes, you want the coupon.

00:09:12
Speaking of, do you like Do you have to?

00:09:14
I'm sorry, I'm not done yet, are you?

00:09:16
You know what? I'll do that in a minute.

00:09:19
No, I was just going to ask is, is there a rank like, is there

00:09:23
like as far as you know which seat you get to sit on based on

00:09:27
your rank and stuff like that? And you know who gets to do

00:09:29
what, who gets to push what button?

00:09:31
You know there's. 2 pilots Oh yeah, there's a whole there's a

00:09:33
whole flow that goes on. That's a good.

00:09:35
I'm. I'm curious.

00:09:36
It's true. Everybody's got their own

00:09:38
specific job too, OK? It's captain and first officer.

00:09:41
OK. So are you captain or you first

00:09:42
officer? I'm just does depend on what

00:09:45
kind of sexual favors you do, which one you get to be.

00:09:48
That's classified. OK, yeah, of course he's Captain

00:09:52
Trey. What the fuck's matter?

00:09:53
Because I'll let you be my first officer anytime you want.

00:09:55
I bet you would. Trey just likes the uniforms,

00:09:59
OK? I do this one.

00:10:00
I do like the uniform. He wants to pretend to be

00:10:02
captain. It's so hot.

00:10:03
We all know he's not flying. Anywhere but Speaking of Captain

00:10:06
and 1st cap, did you know? First officer.

00:10:09
First Officer and Captain, Captain and 1st Captain, Did you

00:10:12
know? That pilots and copilots

00:10:14
typically eat different meals. Did you know that?

00:10:16
Wait, I didn't even know that pilots and copays got meals?

00:10:19
Whoa, I think. I think I'm gonna get, I'm gonna

00:10:21
guess this one. Why they they two different

00:10:23
types of meals, correct? Are you saying it different?

00:10:25
It's just in case if one has it gets food.

00:10:27
That's what I was gonna say in case they don't want to both

00:10:30
get. So if one having the Hershey

00:10:31
squirts then the other ones flying the flame without any

00:10:34
issues, Tim, yes we're talking way more than our guest Tim if

00:10:39
you wanted the chicken and your Co pilot first.

00:10:46
First the officer. First Admiral.

00:10:48
Whatever. The first first officer?

00:10:51
Yeah, one. He wanted the chicken.

00:10:53
How do you decide who gets that ravioli bullshit that.

00:10:56
Comes the captain chooses first. The captain's in charge of the

00:11:00
airplane. He gets.

00:11:01
He gets whatever he wants, right?

00:11:03
So if you're if you're first officer and you, you know who

00:11:05
your captain's gonna be like, damn it, I'm not getting the

00:11:07
chicken. Yeah.

00:11:08
You bring your own chicken ravioli.

00:11:10
Bring your That's right, cuz you can always bring in.

00:11:12
Oh man, stop at Chickfila and bring it up for yourself.

00:11:14
That's a good idea. Yeah, I would.

00:11:16
I would do that anyway, Right. Yeah.

00:11:18
Yeah, that's a good question. I like that question, Trey.

00:11:20
I did not mean to interrupt. How do you choose who gets to

00:11:22
take the first nap of the? That's totally a random, OK.

00:11:27
Yeah, that's just whoever falls. Whatever happens, happens.

00:11:30
I was. Talking about naps, not the

00:11:35
Would you? This one's going to be really

00:11:37
good. This may be the only thing we

00:11:40
need to do on this show tonight. Would you rather give the person

00:11:42
on your left? Well, Trey's getting everything

00:11:45
from me. That's what I'm talking about.

00:11:47
A massage with a happy ending. Sweet.

00:11:50
Oh, you're so lucky. Or the person on your right, a

00:11:53
thorough prostate exam. Oh, but the.

00:11:57
Matter what What? He uses the But the fact that

00:12:00
that you guys were totally cool with the first one, you're like,

00:12:03
Oh yeah, happy endings, and that you were grossed out by the idea

00:12:09
of just my bottom, you know? So anyway, OK, so.

00:12:12
Feel offended by that. So, Tim, your answer is easy.

00:12:15
You you would go left. I would go, OK, without a doubt.

00:12:19
And you would not go left. You you are, you would you go

00:12:22
right for the prostate because it's Timmy.

00:12:25
Hmm. The way he's looking tonight, I

00:12:26
probably go right, he is dressed quite nicely.

00:12:29
He's making us look like a couple of slouchers.

00:12:31
Yeah, but we do that to ourselves.

00:12:32
With the glasses he had on earlier, I mean, my God.

00:12:35
Oh, there they go. They are.

00:12:36
On the glasses on, boom, You love it.

00:12:38
All right, well, here's this is gonna be the the last one of the

00:12:41
evening of these because we have lots to get.

00:12:43
To I might need more beer. Would you rather masturbate with

00:12:50
a real? Slip.

00:12:54
That may be it right there. No.

00:12:55
If this wasn't so good, I would have just closed the closed

00:12:58
right. Would you?

00:13:00
Yes. Would you rather masturbate with

00:13:02
a real living Elmo hand puppet doing his voice holy shit.

00:13:09
Or a real living cookie monster in puppet doing his voice.

00:13:14
Oh, I like the Cookie Monster, yeah, yeah.

00:13:15
When he says see is for cookie, see is for yeah, OK, what about

00:13:21
you, Timmy, Elmo or Cookie Monkey?

00:13:24
Yeah, man. Yeah.

00:13:25
Elmo sounds too much like a little.

00:13:27
Yeah. Little kid throwing me off.

00:13:28
That's very awkward. Yeah.

00:13:29
OK. And we would like to thank our

00:13:32
guests for coming in tonight. And that's it.

00:13:36
Until next time. Until next time.

00:13:37
Those are fun. I just, I always like to throw

00:13:39
those out there. I know some people like they're

00:13:41
so silly, but we enjoy them. So I think we learned a lot from

00:13:45
Tim already. Right, I aimed.

00:13:48
You know, whatever you need. Okay.

00:13:50
So let me ask you, has there ever been a situation where you

00:13:52
had to turn the plane around? Or do you have protocols where

00:13:55
if something specific happens, you have to turn?

00:13:57
I bet there's a lot of them there.

00:13:58
There's a. Ton of them, yeah.

00:13:59
We got a whole book that's too broad.

00:14:01
Okay. Yeah, I mean mechanical.

00:14:03
It depends, right? So have you had a situation

00:14:05
already where you've had to turn the plane around?

00:14:07
Absolutely. Yeah, mechanical.

00:14:09
That's probably the most common when.

00:14:10
You can you tell us, can you tell us about the craziest one

00:14:12
or is that kind of? I really haven't any crazy ones.

00:14:16
Nothing like no. Not having any like engine

00:14:18
failures or crazy mechanical things like that's good gear

00:14:21
won't come in. I'm scared of engine failure

00:14:23
bullshit. Oh man, no.

00:14:24
There's those engines are they're very legit.

00:14:27
Yeah, there's that has a very rare.

00:14:29
I can't imagine though that you'd be like, you know what?

00:14:31
It's hit or miss with it, so nothing.

00:14:33
Nothing. Every take off is a brand, yeah.

00:14:36
Nothing per passenger. You never had to turn around.

00:14:38
Passenger. Oh, I have.

00:14:40
Are you guys saying the our father as you take off?

00:14:43
For me, it's. I've got more like Danger Zone

00:14:45
going on. I see.

00:14:47
I do that as a passenger, though.

00:14:49
I'm like, I'm like, you got this.

00:14:50
Whenever they announced the captain's name, I remember.

00:14:53
I'm like, you got this, David White.

00:14:54
Yeah. You got this.

00:14:55
Yeah. Come on.

00:14:56
David White. I don't know.

00:14:57
I look, that's the first whitest name, since that's the whitest

00:15:01
name. So do you want do you want my

00:15:02
story? Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

00:15:03
Or people. No, no, you asked.

00:15:05
Tell. The story Yes, OK, everyone

00:15:06
needs to calm down. Shut the fuck up, right?

00:15:09
Trey asked you if there are any people that caused you to turn

00:15:12
the plane around. Oh yeah, Like we hadn't even

00:15:14
left the we had just pushed off the gate, and I had to return to

00:15:17
the gate and have the guy arrested.

00:15:19
Have a guy arrested? Yes, and you're not allowed to

00:15:21
give the detail, are you or can you?

00:15:23
This is a long This is probably 2000, I don't know, four or

00:15:26
five, early 2000s. I was still a first officer, so

00:15:28
I was eating the ravioli. I just finished my ravioli.

00:15:32
We're in St. Louis.

00:15:34
We push off the gate. Flight attendant calls up St.

00:15:36
Louis, that's why. Pushing off in St.

00:15:38
Louis, flight attendant calls up, she says.

00:15:40
Got a problem. Hey, what's the problem?

00:15:44
I got a passenger back here. Who's?

00:15:47
Touching themselves. That was Trey.

00:15:50
That was Trey back. I knew I knew you from

00:15:52
somewhere. That was you.

00:15:53
I knew it. Couldn't place it, figure it

00:15:57
out. So as a first officer, I'm like,

00:15:59
hey man, you're in charge, that's your deal.

00:16:01
Like, I'm just along for the ride at this point, right?

00:16:03
Right. So he starts asking questions

00:16:05
like, what do you mean he's touching himself?

00:16:07
What's going on? Well, sure.

00:16:09
And she's she's. And he's got it out.

00:16:11
He's touching himself. She's like, yeah, you know, like

00:16:14
it was just out, like he's just going to.

00:16:15
Tell I mean, I didn't see it. This is what she's telling us,

00:16:17
right? And and so take it easy.

00:16:20
Captain elected to come back in. They called the cops.

00:16:23
The cops came out. Took the guy off.

00:16:26
That was it. Did they make him put it away

00:16:27
before they put him, pulled him out of the plane?

00:16:30
I mean, Can you imagine? I'm assuming so.

00:16:32
Yeah, I don't think it's just people.

00:16:34
Swinging to and fro, right? It's just, you know, they say.

00:16:38
They say to keep your elbows in it's.

00:16:41
Like what's going on? Back there, you know, so you did

00:16:45
not actually see this guy or know that he was actually doing

00:16:48
this, but if they took him off and arrested him, he there had

00:16:50
to have been some sort of evidence.

00:16:51
Yeah, I mean, as a crew you you always support your other crew

00:16:53
members, right? The flight attendant saw

00:16:55
something you believe was she's was just got no reason to lie

00:16:58
for sure, unless it wasn't like an ex-boyfriend or something.

00:17:00
Or bad tender date or something, right?

00:17:02
Right. I don't think they had tender

00:17:03
back, that's true, but. He did look like what he said in

00:17:07
his pictures. Put that away, Sir.

00:17:10
All right, well, so that's interesting.

00:17:11
So turn around because of. I gotta write that down.

00:17:14
Do not masturbate on Keep. In your pants, this is.

00:17:17
On. Timid plane?

00:17:18
Keep it in your pants. That's a friend of mine.

00:17:20
Let him go. He's fine.

00:17:21
Trey's learning how to be a good passenger on there.

00:17:25
Yeah. Are there any others that kind

00:17:27
of like where you had to turn around mid flight?

00:17:30
Other than mechanical? No.

00:17:31
Other than mechanical. What kind of mechanical?

00:17:33
And again, I'm freaking myself out.

00:17:35
But just I get it. It's like anything but.

00:17:38
I mean, how far away do you have to be where you're like?

00:17:41
Not gonna happen. We're not really gonna turn

00:17:42
around. We're halfway like well.

00:17:45
See, here's your thing. When you fly domestic, all these

00:17:47
airlines, they have maintenance bases spread out so you could oh

00:17:51
you're diverting to somewhere else.

00:17:53
So you'll divert say you've especially if it's something

00:17:55
minor, right. Let's say, let's say I'm going

00:17:57
up to Cleveland, I take off out of Houston.

00:18:00
I don't know why I'm using this cuz it really happened cuz it

00:18:02
really happened. Take off, it's in the winter.

00:18:06
And you get a message that your ice system fails, right?

00:18:09
Well, you can't go into Cleveland.

00:18:10
It's icing, right? Your ice system is not working.

00:18:12
Well, you can just just try. What's really What's an ice

00:18:16
system? Turn into the curve.

00:18:18
Is that like, is that like what melts the ice as you're flying

00:18:22
into? So the silver part on the front

00:18:24
of the wings, the leading edge of the wing, it's silver.

00:18:26
Those are heated through air from the engine.

00:18:30
That was not in one of my factories.

00:18:31
So that I learned that, see now I taught you, yeah, so these

00:18:34
airplanes, especially the newer ones, they all have automatic

00:18:37
ice detection system. So as soon as it's got this

00:18:39
little probe and it detects ice, it automatically turns the

00:18:42
system. But isn't when you're up at

00:18:44
35 feet or whatever it ends up being, isn't it like, cold as

00:18:48
shit up there anyway? It's like negative.

00:18:49
Yeah, but it's so cold it doesn't freeze the airplane.

00:18:51
It's when you get down lower, like in that kind of awkward

00:18:56
range that's interesting. I was leading to something with

00:18:58
that Okay. Go ahead, I would like to hear

00:19:00
it. So I don't know if I've seen a

00:19:03
lot of this story going around, so you guys might have already

00:19:05
seen this, but a Delta flight from Atlanta to Barcelona was

00:19:08
forced to turn around after a passenger on board suffered a

00:19:13
bout of no. Diarrhea which ran and that look

00:19:21
Atlanta to to Barcelona that's a pretty long that's yeah that's

00:19:24
not yeah that's not a two hour flight that's.

00:19:26
Not domestic, I think. Did it right him.

00:19:28
That's a long flight, right? That's a pretty long flight.

00:19:30
Does it say what they ate before they got on the flight?

00:19:32
Let me see here. So, Trey, you're telling me that

00:19:35
Delta Airlines had a long, long I?

00:19:37
Didn't tell you Delta Airlines, but now, no you did, you did.

00:19:40
Did I say yeah, you said take it easy, I listen and and it is a

00:19:44
long flight so it was a big plane and somebody.

00:19:49
So my question is. Somebody had a poo poo.

00:19:51
Somebody had a poo poo, right, Tim?

00:19:53
Right. Is that the case?

00:19:54
And it says the text message sent to air traffic control.

00:19:57
The captain was succinct. Yeah, that's a big word for me.

00:20:01
I don't know that's. Well, I didn't Google that word.

00:20:02
Well done in explaining the problem.

00:20:04
Divert to Atlanta. Passenger diarrhea all over

00:20:07
aircraft. All over aircraft.

00:20:09
That's a big plane. Yeah.

00:20:10
Succinct. That's a big.

00:20:12
That was a big word. So who?

00:20:13
But proud of myself. Who would tell you in that

00:20:15
situation as the captain, like it was anybody, the flight

00:20:18
attendant, somebody? Oh well, I'm sure the smell told

00:20:22
them first. Well, I would have to, but it

00:20:23
wouldn't get through that door and that like a sealed door.

00:20:26
You. You're in a fortress.

00:20:28
Up you get. Yeah.

00:20:29
But. I mean, you get smells, you get

00:20:31
smells, you. Get smells.

00:20:33
OK, next time I'm by by the dorm, I go and drop one through

00:20:36
there. Terrible, isn't it?

00:20:41
No, but OK, so anybody could tell you and you have those

00:20:45
codes. Let me ask you, what does one

00:20:47
Ding mean? One Ding when it goes, Ding when

00:20:50
it says Ding and then I always see the flat tenant get up cuz

00:20:52
I'm. Just get on the phone.

00:20:54
If you get on the phone, yeah, I'm always.

00:20:56
Like when we Ding it's it's if it not the seat belt thing.

00:21:01
Like, well, I know, but there's different tones, right?

00:21:03
You can do that again for us. There we go.

00:21:06
Love it. If I if I if I want to talk to

00:21:09
them, I push a button and he goes Ding right back there.

00:21:11
Different. Not like if you want to.

00:21:13
Not the same thing. And yeah, no, pick up and talk

00:21:16
and usually that's to say like it's getting rough up ahead or.

00:21:19
Yeah, we just tell. We just tell that there's

00:21:21
weather you need to sit down or you know, I don't know, we're in

00:21:25
a hold because when I hear that Ding, it makes me nervous.

00:21:28
So that means why would they want?

00:21:30
Why would they need to talk to the?

00:21:31
It could just be they have to go to the bathroom, but they want

00:21:33
their chicken and ravioli, dude, they put that whole cart trade.

00:21:37
You know what I'm talking about? They put that whole food cart in

00:21:40
front of that door and they both stand about the both flight

00:21:43
attendants will stand behind it when the pilot goes to the

00:21:45
bathroom. You've been on many planes.

00:21:47
Yeah, yeah. And they're just like, ready.

00:21:48
Like, anybody comes up this way, you you've got a food cart to

00:21:52
deal with. Do you ever feel like pretty

00:21:55
cool I'm being guarded? All the time.

00:22:00
All the time. Because I know you.

00:22:02
I've known you for years and and you you.

00:22:04
Pee a lot, my bladders the size of a peanut.

00:22:08
So anybody, anybody on Thames flight has sees him like like

00:22:13
why is this? Pilot, I am so I'm very

00:22:15
conscientious of that. You're good.

00:22:16
I'll, I'll pee before we leave. And I'll pee as soon as we land.

00:22:19
Yeah, someone's like, can I get you a captain?

00:22:22
Can I get you a water? No, no.

00:22:24
Fuck you in your water. Just more Ravia.

00:22:27
Just more Ravia. OK, so continue the story.

00:22:29
So, so, so it diverted, turned around.

00:22:32
How quickly does it say like? Doesn't say it says the

00:22:34
situation was very distressing for both passengers and crew.

00:22:37
Well, no shit. Literally.

00:22:39
Says My partner was on the flight and it was pretty bad.

00:22:42
It was dribbled. It it was dribbled down, the

00:22:45
aisle dribbled. I thought I was reading that

00:22:48
wrong, but it was dribbled down the aisle and smelled horrible.

00:22:50
That sounds about right. It said the vanilla scented

00:22:53
disinfectant they used only made it smell like vanilla shit.

00:22:57
Oh, this is the worst, Store says after the plane had

00:23:02
mechanical issues. After the plane landed,

00:23:04
obviously it was thoroughly cleaned.

00:23:06
They didn't leave until about 2:30 AM.

00:23:08
No. My God I.

00:23:09
Want Did they have to get back on that plane?

00:23:11
No. No.

00:23:12
Probably. It sounds like they did no

00:23:13
Captain. Oh.

00:23:14
Sir. Captain.

00:23:16
Timmy. Yes.

00:23:17
If you land in that situation, you know how you guys always

00:23:21
come. Well, of course you know he

00:23:23
comes out. Hold on.

00:23:24
I can't wait to hear what you're gonna say, but.

00:23:26
You know, you come on and you say everyone until I turn that

00:23:29
fucking seat belt sign off, you sit.

00:23:32
I mean, people are like, like, do you just want to take the

00:23:34
seat belt off and get and you're just like, Nope.

00:23:37
Do you? Nope.

00:23:38
Do you leave it on? A little, little extra line.

00:23:43
All the buttons are going off. Yeah.

00:23:45
Sit down. Yeah.

00:23:47
Anyway, what'd you find? You're asking me if I screw with

00:23:49
the passengers? Yeah, no, I don't screw with the

00:23:51
pass, No. It's like, man, they must be

00:23:54
sleeping right now. Let's take a right hand turn

00:23:56
real quick. Sorry for the turbulence.

00:24:00
I don't know. I went and.

00:24:02
Then what They did. The seat belt sign is still on.

00:24:04
Yeah, yeah. So anyway, the seat belt.

00:24:08
Please keep the seatbelts on, even if this is a smooth flight,

00:24:11
just in case a sudden. No, This is the word.

00:24:15
You want the word turbulence. This is the word okay.

00:24:17
Use the word. Ding Right.

00:24:20
You turn it off. Dang, we can do that these.

00:24:22
Are these are my words. These are my words every time.

00:24:25
Ladies and gentlemen, from the flight deck we used your final

00:24:27
cruising altitude of 34 feet should be a smooth ride for the

00:24:30
rest of the flight. I'm going to turn that fasten

00:24:32
seat belt sign off. However, we do ask that if you

00:24:34
are seated to keep your seatbelts fastened at all times,

00:24:36
it's just in case we encounter any bumps on the way to XYZ that

00:24:41
I got I. Don't like can you change the

00:24:42
word should? Because that leaves a little bit

00:24:45
of. Doubt.

00:24:46
I like to leave the doubt in there because it's not my fault

00:24:48
if it's not smooth, right? It is.

00:24:50
Your fucking fault. Because we call that button that

00:24:52
we turn that seat belt sign off, that's the turbulence button as

00:24:55
soon as you turn that. MFR off it, it gets bumpy

00:24:58
immediately. Every.

00:24:59
Single time. Every single time I turn it off.

00:25:04
I want them. People to go to the bathroom, so

00:25:05
we don't. Have diarrhea in the airplane,

00:25:06
like there you go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I.

00:25:09
Don't think the button would have helped with this one, but

00:25:12
anyway, all of a sudden the Button's on.

00:25:13
Well, I can't. I can't go.

00:25:15
I'm just gonna shit myself. Yeah.

00:25:16
The diarrhea is gone now. I'm good, although it is,

00:25:20
although that is funny though. That sign goes off and I I swear

00:25:25
is a passenger even I'm like, oh shit, the signs off.

00:25:28
I bet it's going to get bumpy any second and all of a sudden

00:25:30
it's bumpy and then it's like Ding back on.

00:25:32
I'm like. I always have to pee at

00:25:34
approach. For whatever reason.

00:25:36
It's right before the fucking approach.

00:25:37
Oh yeah. I'm always like, well, I'll hold

00:25:39
on until in the next, you know, we're approaching.

00:25:41
Please. Yeah.

00:25:42
Sit. And some approaches are longer

00:25:43
than others, right, Tim? That's true.

00:25:45
OK, why is that just wind traffic?

00:25:48
Oh well, it's where Heathrow and London is the worst, right?

00:25:52
Well, I mean, that's Europe. Everything's messed up in

00:25:54
Europe. Oh, so it's all?

00:25:56
It's just smaller, the airspace we circled.

00:25:58
We circled Heathrow for an hour. It's like, oh, it's finally our

00:26:01
turn. And then you just like dive into

00:26:03
and go. And it's crazy.

00:26:04
You lookout the window and Heathrow and you just see all

00:26:07
the other planes at different altitudes circling.

00:26:10
Yeah, that doesn't make me comfortable.

00:26:12
Why? Cuz just visual out the window

00:26:14
doesn't make me feel like you can't accidentally run into

00:26:17
something. It's so cool, man.

00:26:19
When you're landing at the same time there's a guy right next to

00:26:21
you, you're looking over. Like, oh, look at that guy.

00:26:23
You're just do you ever compete with that guy to like land

00:26:27
quick, faster? He will make comments like he's

00:26:30
going faster than you, you know. What's going on here?

00:26:34
So one time we were about to land in Colorado and as a storm

00:26:37
flew in, it was wind, rain, blah, blah.

00:26:40
Anyway, so we're circling the airport, so which is fine.

00:26:42
And I'm sitting there watching a movie.

00:26:43
I'm sitting thinking, why the fuck are we still up in the air?

00:26:45
Like, the movie's almost over. They said 20 minutes we'd be

00:26:48
landing, blah blah blah. And so my ex was like, you know,

00:26:50
they're circling. There was a a storm in there.

00:26:53
I was like, OK, well, cool. And it was almost like, okay,

00:26:55
we're circling, circling, circling.

00:26:57
Do you ever get to the point where it's like, fuck it, we're

00:26:58
doing it and you just go or is it is there.

00:27:01
Because it seemed like it because we were circling and all

00:27:04
there is just when you know what, fuck it.

00:27:05
We're going in. And I mean that plane was going

00:27:08
all kinds of crazy shit like that.

00:27:10
There was one I heard, I heard emergency.

00:27:13
Emergency. Like, I don't know if it was a

00:27:14
button. I was like and so I took my

00:27:16
headphones. And I was like, what's going on?

00:27:18
And my ex is like, oh, just turbulence.

00:27:20
I was like, oh, just somebody only emergency.

00:27:22
But then I'm sitting on the aisle seat and this.

00:27:24
Our flight attendant is like coming down the aisle, literally

00:27:27
banging up against these chairs and she gets down to the the the

00:27:31
row behind me and the lady's like I'm feeling a little sick

00:27:34
to my stomach and you see the death look on their face and she

00:27:37
walks, slamming down the aisle, grabs a bag, brings it back

00:27:41
down. On the way back this flight

00:27:44
attendant fell. I caught her, helped her back

00:27:47
up. She gave the bag to the lady and

00:27:49
then went back and sat down. But then my worry wasn't about

00:27:52
the plane. It's about the lady throwing up

00:27:54
behind me. And I'm like, I don't want to

00:27:56
hear this. I don't want to smell this.

00:27:58
And you hope she gets it in the. That was the remind.

00:28:00
With the bumps you can fly over your seat.

00:28:01
That's my. That's my anxiety at that point.

00:28:04
But but it was almost like the pilot was like, you know what

00:28:06
the fuck it Let's just do this. Let's go.

00:28:08
But it's not always your it's not the pilot's decision.

00:28:11
Totally the pilot's decision. Absolutely.

00:28:14
Yes, 100%. I thought they would have to

00:28:16
give you like authorization A. 100% no, I mean they.

00:28:19
Well, they hope you would make the right decision.

00:28:21
They trust. You to make the right decision?

00:28:22
Yeah, for sure. I'm sure they train you for that

00:28:25
shit. I don't know if that makes me

00:28:26
feel better or. Not at all.

00:28:28
So I. Like, I mean pull.

00:28:29
This shit off, you know? Let's go.

00:28:31
I mean, we got weather radar, there's wind shear detection,

00:28:35
there's all kinds of stuff on those areas.

00:28:36
Do you want confidence in a pilot or do you want safety at a

00:28:40
Violet? But but I went, I fly in a

00:28:44
little bit to add the Aspen Airport and that airport is

00:28:46
known for being like really? That's a tough airport.

00:28:48
Really. I love every time we're like,

00:28:51
we're about to start our descent now.

00:28:53
I'm like, shit cuz everybody, That's what everybody says,

00:28:56
including you, a pilot. Yeah, well, Aspen is a special

00:28:59
airport, right? So you have to actually qualify

00:29:01
to fly to Aspen. Not any.

00:29:04
But I'm not qualified. You haven't done that.

00:29:06
Yet I haven't done the training to do that.

00:29:09
They only qualify a certain amount of.

00:29:11
They only qualify like I don't know how many people, but it's a

00:29:14
certain amount and that's all they do and it's because.

00:29:17
It's like Aspen, the back and forth.

00:29:18
The mountains are that close and the elevation you have to turn.

00:29:21
Into maneuvering now. It's bad.

00:29:23
There's like, it's basically one way and one way out, right?

00:29:25
You can't really go the other way.

00:29:26
If you lose an engine, it's it's it's tough.

00:29:28
It's really a hard airport. To get what about what about

00:29:30
Vegas? That would always seems like

00:29:32
it's rough going into Vegas. I don't know why it opened in

00:29:35
it. That's why it opened, but it's

00:29:37
it's and the thermals it's. Be as always, Bumpy, OK?

00:29:41
Always What's the hardest airport you've ever had to fly

00:29:43
into? Mexico City Whoa.

00:29:46
Really? OK.

00:29:47
Yeah, yeah. Because all the cartels shooting

00:29:50
at you or? Yeah, you got to dodge the

00:29:52
missiles, you know, get the flares ready.

00:29:53
It's all that stuff. Sorry for our cartel listeners.

00:29:57
I don't mean. Mexico's just hard.

00:29:59
I think we have a lot probably that's probably our listeners.

00:30:02
I bet they. Really worry about the diary on

00:30:04
the way out of that motherfucker too.

00:30:05
So yeah, if you're flying out of Mexico City, you need to be

00:30:10
prepared for that. Now let me get back to my story

00:30:13
real quick. Give back your story.

00:30:14
So a passenger said both my wife and I were on the flight.

00:30:17
It was a mess, said The pilots. Made the right decision to turn

00:30:19
around to the ground crew, ripped out the carpet and put a

00:30:22
new carpet for this flame for the like that like quickly.

00:30:26
Yes, so that was crazy. They go back to Atlanta.

00:30:30
Is that where they landed? Yeah.

00:30:31
Landing back in Atlanta shifted to they must think the biohazard

00:30:34
issue throughout thorough leaning the aircraft hard temp.

00:30:37
They must not have been very fun.

00:30:40
They got from Atlanta to like Charlotte and they're like, no,

00:30:43
let's just go back. So following an 8 hour and 13

00:30:46
minute flight, the plane finally landed in Barcelona.

00:30:49
So they were actually 8 hours behind schedule.

00:30:52
So I guess they made it so 8 hours behind schedule because

00:30:56
of. Somebody had some horrible the

00:30:58
carpet. Can you imagine that shit they

00:31:01
rebuilt inside the plane? I don't know if that helped, I

00:31:03
bet. I don't know if I would get back

00:31:05
on that plane. I bet some people are like, it's

00:31:07
just I could there's no, it's there.

00:31:09
I want to understand. I'm still trying to figure.

00:31:11
I'm picturing it dribbling down. Yeah, it dribbled like, is it

00:31:14
like? A river.

00:31:15
They didn't show any pictures As you're landing.

00:31:17
As you're landing, I know that you don't always go, but you go

00:31:20
down like this a little bit, you kind of go down.

00:31:22
No, man. When you're landing, you're

00:31:23
actually the nose of that at some point.

00:31:25
But I thought it for a little bit, no.

00:31:27
Ever. As you're descending, it's even

00:31:29
in. OK, we'll find.

00:31:30
Then let's reverse my theory, which is all that dribble starts

00:31:34
going to the back. Can you?

00:31:36
Yeah. It's going to flow to the bed.

00:31:37
So I feel I'm I'm, I'm envisioning a lava lamp.

00:31:40
A lava lamp. And you?

00:31:41
It's like, what if you're in the bubbly?

00:31:43
Like you're in the back pile? You're like God.

00:31:45
Come on. Are you?

00:31:46
See it coming? You're like God anyway.

00:31:49
Anything else to that in that store?

00:31:50
Can you? Imagine being on that plane, you

00:31:52
reach down to put your bags underneath there and you think

00:31:54
there's chocolate and it's like, come on, right is.

00:31:58
That taking it too far. Do you smell it or lick it?

00:32:00
I'm not even surprised you took it that far.

00:32:02
Which one is it? Do you get hot chocolate?

00:32:04
Why you like you get on your hand or?

00:32:07
Which? One is it?

00:32:10
I'm not, you know, Trey. Leave it alone.

00:32:12
No, I'm just. I'm just.

00:32:14
None of this surprises me that you brought it.

00:32:15
You took it to that? See, my biggest fear on planes,

00:32:18
and we've talked about this before, is I don't know how the

00:32:20
shit was going to get into his mouth.

00:32:21
He brought it there. Literally.

00:32:24
Literally. That's what I meant.

00:32:26
My biggest concern is kidney stones.

00:32:28
I've had issues with kidney stones.

00:32:29
I'm always afraid about what would y'all, what would y'all do

00:32:31
if if I started having kidney stone pains.

00:32:33
Is that something that you're like, OK, we turn back around

00:32:36
for this or like you know, sit back the.

00:32:38
Whole process, man. So if somebody's ill in the

00:32:39
back, we have access. We have access to call medical

00:32:43
personnel on the ground, doctors on the.

00:32:45
Ground and have them ready to go.

00:32:46
We have a form and. They ask certain questions.

00:32:48
The flight attendant answers these questions, gives us the

00:32:51
form. We talked to the doctor that

00:32:52
they tell us what to do. There's a medical kit on board

00:32:55
for certain things. You know, there's a whole, yeah,

00:32:58
there's a whole process. They've got it figured out.

00:33:00
They do a really good job with. It well, I mean so so did and

00:33:03
then you determine whether or not you make the full flight or

00:33:05
you put it off the. Somewhere I got you.

00:33:08
Have they ever thought about? I know this sounds, I don't

00:33:11
know, maybe maybe unrealistic, but I mean are there doctors on?

00:33:16
I mean could they put a doctor technically on that work for the

00:33:20
airline on the flights, just always have somebody they could.

00:33:24
I mean instead of saying like is anyone a doctor like?

00:33:27
They still do that. Well, they do.

00:33:29
And then you got a plastic surgeon who's like, yeah, I got

00:33:31
this and he's given, you know, CPR.

00:33:33
Well, I can give CPR the same as a plastic.

00:33:36
Surgeon they could, I think back in the day flight.

00:33:39
All flight attendants were nurses.

00:33:42
Like when back in the 50s or the 60s.

00:33:45
Yeah, Yep. I wonder why they went away from

00:33:47
that. I wonder if I wonder if do you

00:33:50
know if in flight attendant training they have to have kind

00:33:55
of similar? Yeah, I don't know.

00:33:57
I bet they do. They have to have some.

00:33:58
I think they have to know how to use the.

00:34:01
What is that defibrillator thing?

00:34:03
And what's that? How you know what it's called?

00:34:06
What's it called? What is that?

00:34:07
That is, yeah, the terminology. Is that safe to use up on a

00:34:10
plane though? Yeah.

00:34:11
Okay, because it's those kind of you put them on, it'll tell you

00:34:13
whether it's a shock or not. Okay, it's all automatic but.

00:34:17
Are they protected? Cuz I read a story the other day

00:34:19
where somebody did CPR on somebody and actually broke a

00:34:23
rib but saved their life. And they sued the person because

00:34:27
they broke the rip God. But the judge makes.

00:34:29
Me so mad but the judge leader said.

00:34:31
Listen they they saved your life.

00:34:32
You know So is there are you guys protected for shit like

00:34:36
that? I'm You gotta be.

00:34:37
I would thinks I have. I don't.

00:34:39
I mean, I don't know. I would think so.

00:34:40
Yeah. I mean, it's not gonna stop me

00:34:41
from trying to help somebody. Right, right, right.

00:34:43
I. Don't think it's tough, anybody.

00:34:44
I would just hope somebody that life got saved.

00:34:47
They wouldn't be an asshole and do something like that.

00:34:48
But you never know the obvious. There's people out there a money

00:34:51
grab, so yeah, well, there's yeah, money grab everywhere.

00:34:54
But was there into that or is that pretty much it diarrhea

00:34:58
everywhere? Yeah, I wish I we could show

00:35:00
pictures, Corros. Yeah, you know what?

00:35:05
You know what? I'm gonna move on.

00:35:06
Let's move on. Moving on.

00:35:08
Because I don't. Even just the thought of a

00:35:11
picture. My God.

00:35:13
So, OK. So Tim.

00:35:14
Sir, kind of on the same page as this last Tray story.

00:35:23
I want to know. I want to know when I don't want

00:35:26
to know. But the I want to know wins in

00:35:29
this What if you have, like a scariest moment, If, whether

00:35:34
it's you and the passengers had no idea.

00:35:37
Whether it's just you, whether something happened you're going

00:35:40
that could have admitted badly, as much as you can tell, and

00:35:45
preferably on the largest planes that you've flown, but but also

00:35:52
the smaller ones too. I'd like to I just anything that

00:35:54
that close calls, because even though it's the safest method of

00:35:59
travel and all that horseshit. It really is, I know.

00:36:04
I think, yeah, people throw that statistic at me and I'm like,

00:36:08
yeah, I don't know. I'm just kidding.

00:36:11
Of course it is. But go ahead.

00:36:12
Do you have any in mind? There's always moments, right?

00:36:16
There's always like, I don't want to hear.

00:36:18
There's always moments. Not always, but.

00:36:21
I mean when you fly every, you know, you fly what, four days a

00:36:24
week for 27 years and so you're going to have stuff, right me,

00:36:28
some of the, some of the big boys.

00:36:29
The one that always sticks out my mind.

00:36:31
I think about it all the time, just cruising along.

00:36:35
Right. 37 This is what I'm talking about.

00:36:37
Cruising along out of nowhere, Out of nowhere, the airspeed

00:36:45
starts. Is it called the trend vector on

00:36:47
the airspeed? So it tells you where you're

00:36:48
going to be in a certain amount of seconds.

00:36:50
It drops. We also have instruments called

00:36:54
your VSI Vertical Speed Indicator.

00:36:56
It tells you up or down if you're an up or down.

00:36:58
You knew that, right? That starts, that goes down

00:37:00
right 3000 feet a minute, and we're just dropping all the

00:37:03
stuff in the flight deck you drop, not cockpit.

00:37:07
All the stuff starts floating. Yeah, trail has to call it cock.

00:37:11
Like anything. Cock well.

00:37:13
Only men are able to fly planes, right?

00:37:15
So it's the cockpit, does that not right?

00:37:18
Man, we got girls. Is that not it?

00:37:20
Well, there's stewardesses, the women.

00:37:22
My gosh, you are so screwed. Sorry, our women listeners have

00:37:30
now gone down even more. In all seriousness, so you were

00:37:35
just like. We're just, we're level.

00:37:38
And just fall. No way.

00:37:40
Wow, yes, this was on a what size plane like.

00:37:43
This is on passenger plane. It was A50 seat regional jet but

00:37:48
still passenger plane. Jet to a bunch of jet like it

00:37:52
cruises. It's 37 feet like one of

00:37:54
those express type, yes, Okay, yes.

00:37:57
And it. It's just dropping.

00:37:59
Oh, you put the power levers all the way up to help stop that

00:38:03
speed reduction so you don't stall.

00:38:05
Cuz a plank can stall, that's what we that's what we would do,

00:38:07
right? Right.

00:38:08
Yeah, speed and nothing's happening.

00:38:09
You know, the speed is just dropping.

00:38:11
We're dropping everything. The speed, like you got coffee

00:38:15
and drinks and books and it's like you're just loading.

00:38:18
Yeah, it's negative, you're negative geeing and it's just

00:38:20
all floating in front of you're like.

00:38:22
What the? Fuck is going on and you and

00:38:25
you're helpless. You weren't ready for.

00:38:26
So you woke up and. You couldn't.

00:38:31
No, man. We were both awake.

00:38:33
You stopped, you woke up and the plane was falling and your vodka

00:38:37
fell in the ground, so. But my ravioli was safe so.

00:38:43
It's okay. That's good.

00:38:44
So you were, so you weren't able to predict that at all?

00:38:49
No. Out of nowhere?

00:38:50
Or was it maybe like 3 seconds and you still weren't?

00:38:53
It felt like forever. No, no, but like, so you're just

00:38:56
cruising along. It's not a steering wheel, Ryan.

00:39:01
It's just. Downshift Yeah, you're cruising

00:39:05
along the. Autopilot's on the auto pilot I

00:39:07
used to play Afterburner at the arcade.

00:39:09
OK, I know. I know.

00:39:10
I know how to play the. Oh, I guess that was a good

00:39:12
game. So what?

00:39:13
How did you? I mean so.

00:39:14
So what point do you know that that's gonna happen?

00:39:17
You're saying you didn't know until it was happening?

00:39:19
We didn't know until it was happening.

00:39:20
There was no indication. Nothing happened.

00:39:22
But did you really shin? I guess my question is, did you

00:39:25
know what it was that was happening?

00:39:29
At the time, no. Whoa, that's, that's.

00:39:32
No, you're just trying to fix the prod.

00:39:34
I just. I got chilled.

00:39:35
Something happens. You're just trying to fix the

00:39:37
prod. I'm never flying again.

00:39:38
Fucking. No, come on.

00:39:39
I'm just. I'm joking.

00:39:40
I'm just go ahead. And then it's it it.

00:39:44
It snaps, right? It snaps and you.

00:39:46
Everything falls. And the plane just, it snaps

00:39:49
back in. It was severe turbulence, yeah.

00:39:51
And we dropped and it hit and it popped.

00:39:53
And it was how long was how long was it you said?

00:39:56
I know it felt like forever. It felt like forever.

00:39:58
It was probably. If I had to guess, probably 5

00:40:02
seconds. But still five It feels when you

00:40:04
see that stuff happening, the airspeed falling, you're

00:40:07
falling. You can't fix it.

00:40:08
Like what? What do you you feel helpless?

00:40:10
Do you hear passengers like, ah like in the back we didn't you

00:40:14
you're so hyper focused on what's going.

00:40:15
On Yeah. Oh, sure you don't.

00:40:16
You don't think about that stuff.

00:40:18
I'd be, like, shut off for a second.

00:40:19
Let me figure this out. Yeah, quit yelling back there.

00:40:22
Man. But that's crazy.

00:40:24
That was that was stuff like that.

00:40:25
I think about that one a lot. OK, you say it was severe

00:40:28
turbulence, you said. Yeah.

00:40:29
So how? What's the?

00:40:30
Yeah. Where was it?

00:40:31
Do you? We were flying from Cleveland to

00:40:34
Austin. Wow.

00:40:35
So just over the middle we were probably, we were probably over

00:40:39
Oklahoma, something like that. So we weren't far from Austin.

00:40:42
Too much Cleveland in your stories.

00:40:45
That's the problem. You need a better round.

00:40:46
Yeah. Love Cleveland.

00:40:49
I love that town. You do?

00:40:51
Cool. Fantastic.

00:40:52
All right. Well.

00:40:53
OK, good. Anyways, that's what I think

00:40:55
when I say Trace, Where should we go on vacation?

00:40:57
It's always Cleveland. Ohio.

00:40:58
That's the first one. Awesome, man.

00:41:01
The Flats. Come on all.

00:41:02
Right. So what's the likelihood of an

00:41:04
occurrence like that ever happening?

00:41:05
I mean, is that severe turbines happens man.

00:41:08
I mean to that extent. I haven't had it happen to me

00:41:10
since, OK, Never. I haven't had.

00:41:12
That was the one and. And you think you've been a

00:41:14
father? How long professionally?

00:41:17
Since 2000. OK, so it's not like you just

00:41:20
started. Have you had you, have you had a

00:41:22
couple that are like that or close to it, what's that the the

00:41:26
OR more like that talking about similar to that no.

00:41:29
I have crazy. I've had turbulence, not sure

00:41:32
that before. I mean, that was that was the

00:41:34
worst. That was So what, technically is

00:41:36
turbulence? What?

00:41:37
What's the construction of air? It's just it's bad air.

00:41:39
Yeah, Trace. Cuz it always seems to happen in

00:41:41
clouds. Is that?

00:41:43
So that's what that is. Yeah.

00:41:44
It's the cloud because the thunderstorms grow, right?

00:41:47
It's air moving up and moving down and moving up and that's OK

00:41:51
and that's. Up and down it's.

00:41:52
Not fucking fly through the clouds And how about that, you?

00:41:54
Go around, the is there in the sky.

00:41:55
How do you avoid it? I always don't.

00:41:57
You're flying the fucking plane. Trey, I always look out the

00:42:01
window and I'm like, why doesn't he just go right there?

00:42:03
There's no fucking cloud. There's a hole right there.

00:42:05
Just go back down right in there and come.

00:42:07
Back from That's right. Excuse me, Tim.

00:42:10
Tell me if I'm wrong. Sometimes you can.

00:42:13
You can see if it's that intense, you can see, you feel

00:42:16
and you can see the pilot going through the cloud like trying to

00:42:19
die. Yeah, we dodge them as best we

00:42:21
can. Yeah, you can't always dodge

00:42:22
them all, but you don't always see them all.

00:42:24
But. Sometimes it's an intense dodge,

00:42:26
and it necessary. You feel like it's better to do

00:42:30
that than to go through it. Sometimes it's like a pinhole.

00:42:32
You've got a thunderstorm or and there's a pinhole you just go

00:42:35
through. That hole, That's what I That's

00:42:36
your own. Shit, yeah, that's pretty cool.

00:42:38
It can be. A I have it look, I have in

00:42:40
question can Trey and I sit in the cockpit on my lap the flight

00:42:44
deck? No, not on your horse.

00:42:47
Only Trey that that. Any other?

00:42:49
Any other big ones that have, like, that's what she said.

00:42:55
And he's one of us now, yes. So did you know that travelers

00:42:59
lose out on over a third of their taste buds during a

00:43:02
flight? Ohh.

00:43:04
Really. I actually fun fact I did not

00:43:06
know Trey. You didn't know?

00:43:07
I did not. Whoa, so you're saying just at

00:43:09
because of elevation altitude? I don't know.

00:43:12
Does it come back? You don't want that.

00:43:14
You know you didn't need anymore facts.

00:43:16
Yeah, the air becomes dry, the air pressure drops, forces

00:43:19
passengers sense of smell to drop directly affecting how they

00:43:22
judge taste. So they just that's how they.

00:43:24
So you're telling me the diarrhea probably smell worse?

00:43:27
Yeah or no. It shouldn't be.

00:43:29
It's not better. It didn't.

00:43:30
No, I meant it would have smelled worse if this wasn't.

00:43:32
Oh yeah. Well, no.

00:43:33
It would have tasted bad. So the sense is.

00:43:37
Geez. If you grab that chocolate off

00:43:39
the floor. He says it forces the sense of

00:43:41
smell to drop. Oh my God.

00:43:45
So, OK, so. It was a fraction of what they

00:43:47
thought it was. Right diarrhea.

00:43:48
Oh my God. So anyway, well, I wonder if

00:43:51
that's why airplane food is kind of like because it's like, why?

00:43:54
Yeah, why bother? Yeah, maybe.

00:43:55
It's really good and. You just.

00:43:56
Yeah, taste it. You're right.

00:43:57
Maybe it's it's luxury. It's gourmet.

00:44:01
Well, let me ask you questions. I've always wondered about me.

00:44:04
No, I mean, I know you. I know all your questions.

00:44:08
I know your answers. Tim.

00:44:13
Sir, as a captain and and of course, I know that you're

00:44:17
married to a lovely woman and would never suggest that you

00:44:22
were a part of this at all. So is the rumor not really a

00:44:29
rumor. It's just kind of this.

00:44:31
Spit it the this. Notion that pilots.

00:44:34
And first officers. Or flight attendants.

00:44:38
And flight attendants okay like there's just a bunch of hooking

00:44:42
up going on. Is that true or is that just

00:44:45
kind of like people going well, I don't blame them cuz they're

00:44:48
in the middle of nowhere together and they're all in the

00:44:50
hotel and let's just. Or it happens.

00:44:54
It's true. It's true.

00:44:55
Ohh yeah, look at Trey chicken, Brown cow.

00:44:59
Trey's like, I'm going to be a flight attendant tomorrow.

00:45:02
I'm signing up. You're going to apply.

00:45:04
Tim's like you cannot come on my flight again, alright.

00:45:08
Ah, Trey. Trey's going to apply.

00:45:10
Get some. Sleep tonight I'm knocking on

00:45:11
my. He's going to apply tomorrow to

00:45:13
be a flight attendant. He's gonna be like.

00:45:15
You know what? You have a queen bed in there.

00:45:20
Tomorrow, I swear he's going to be like Ryan.

00:45:22
I've really made a life decision.

00:45:24
I think I'm supposed to be a flight attendant.

00:45:27
Well, I get to wear those cute little scarfs around my my

00:45:29
throat. Well, I think that would be

00:45:31
mandatory for you, I think. But I think you would choose to.

00:45:34
Yeah, even if it wasn't mandatory.

00:45:36
OK, I just wanted to know if that was true my face.

00:45:39
If that was true, the bird flying to it like.

00:45:46
I just want to make sure that was.

00:45:47
I didn't know if that was real. You wanted to make sure it's

00:45:49
real. It's real.

00:45:50
It means and in. Yeah, you're gone for four days.

00:45:53
I have. I don't put myself in those.

00:45:54
Situations And if you're single, like, yeah, either you're

00:45:57
looking forward or you're not, right?

00:45:59
Yeah. Like if if you're happily

00:46:00
married, you're not looking for that, you're not going to put

00:46:02
yourself in those situations, right?

00:46:03
Which? Which?

00:46:04
But if you don't, if you're single, if you're single, you're

00:46:06
like, why the hell not? Yeah, you're looking for it and

00:46:09
it's going to happen, right? I mean, it's like anywhere.

00:46:11
Else, well, it's you're with the same people for four days, and

00:46:14
sometimes you fly with the same people for an entire month.

00:46:16
It's convenient, so it gets very comfortable, right?

00:46:19
Well, and like I've I swear. And of course I think it's the

00:46:22
creativity. I mean, I I look and I'll see on

00:46:24
a flight like a way that. You know, the captain kind of

00:46:28
looks the flight attendant. I'm like, Oh yeah, they're

00:46:30
banging you just. Kind of tell.

00:46:33
How he Pats her in the ass when she walks by.

00:46:36
You might give her a little squeeze.

00:46:38
Yeah, I'm like, alright, I bet something's going on there,

00:46:40
right? Yes.

00:46:41
I'm trying to have a disability on the show to segue.

00:46:45
I don't know. The next time I fly on Tim's

00:46:47
flight, I'm going to get a captain's uniform and just fly,

00:46:50
fly on the flight. See, I'm just.

00:46:52
I'm connecting flight. You come sit down next to me.

00:46:55
You know nothing. No, I just want to see Tim's

00:47:02
face when I walk on with the captain's uniform.

00:47:04
Let's just boat. Let's get a couple of captain's

00:47:07
uniform. Yeah, like hello, Captain,

00:47:08
Captain, Captain, Captain, Captain.

00:47:12
I'll be your first mate. Yeah, well, don't they?

00:47:14
Let some people fly up in the flight deck.

00:47:17
I thought there was a chair there that they let call the

00:47:19
jump seat. OK.

00:47:20
Well, can we not jump in the seat?

00:47:22
No man, you cannot jump so. There's a jump seat.

00:47:24
Who sits there? That's jump seats for other,

00:47:27
Yeah, that's, that's. So they're right.

00:47:28
You. Can the second officer the

00:47:31
secondary third officer? Are there air marshals on every

00:47:35
flight? That's a good question.

00:47:36
On every flight. I don't know the ins and out of

00:47:39
the air marshal program. Yeah.

00:47:40
Have I had not allowed to tell you?

00:47:41
Have I had them on my flights? Yes.

00:47:43
Okay. Yep.

00:47:44
Did they show you their piece when you say?

00:47:48
Well, and can what are we talking about can?

00:47:50
You tell us which flights they're on and not on, yeah.

00:47:54
What they look like. Hold on, let me get a pen ready.

00:47:58
Yeah. Do they always have mustache

00:48:00
mustaches? And yeah.

00:48:01
Yeah, a little short haircut. Yeah, in the mustache.

00:48:04
Yeah, a little. Fuck you, mustache on.

00:48:06
Yeah, but OK, real quick Tim while tres taking notes.

00:48:11
This is probably the most boring part of the show, but I need to

00:48:14
know and you can make it quick. I need to know how a plane

00:48:17
fucking takes off and doesn't just fall back down.

00:48:21
And anybody watching, anybody listening, I'm sorry, but if the

00:48:25
plane is going fast, which is always fun on the runway, and it

00:48:32
starts to go up, it starts to go up.

00:48:34
First off, I don't know how the bottom doesn't hit the runway,

00:48:37
the back end, but it's pretty talented if you guys entail

00:48:40
whatever hits the bottom. But once it starts to go up, I

00:48:43
feel like it's so heavy it's just going to go back down.

00:48:46
So how is it? Is the engine just that

00:48:49
powerful? I mean, I just can't imagine

00:48:51
that's it's just there's so much weight.

00:48:53
My suitcase alone, just hauling it into the thing made me feel

00:48:58
like how is the plane getting clear?

00:49:00
I'll be honest with you, I I don't know that you you can

00:49:02
understand the whole. Damn, what about me?

00:49:08
Yeah, definitely not there. It's not sexual enough for you.

00:49:12
So it's just no, it's you're saying there no, it's it is

00:49:15
simple. All right.

00:49:16
All right. It's pressure.

00:49:18
I was going to accept your molecules and pressure.

00:49:21
Right when the when the airplane starts going it creates lift on

00:49:24
the wings. Molecules split.

00:49:26
They part of the molecule goes on top, some go on the bottom.

00:49:29
High pressure always goes to low pressure.

00:49:31
High pressure goes under the wing, it pushes up.

00:49:34
You were right, Trey. So you told me.

00:49:36
Did he really say that? It's.

00:49:37
Going to be, but you've got to have enough, so that's what

00:49:41
you've got to have enough. Pressure under the wing, that's

00:49:43
high. Pressure under the wing and over

00:49:44
the wing pushes up and. They call it Lift.

00:49:46
It's called Lift. And and but but it just but the

00:49:49
engines have to create enough right air to go over so.

00:49:52
The engines have to be powerful enough, Absolutely, absolutely.

00:49:56
That's you don't put a little ramp out there, you just jump

00:49:58
off of the. Don't they do that on a aircraft

00:50:00
carrier that's like the old British aircraft?

00:50:02
Carrier the Top Gun. They did that F the F14 top cat.

00:50:06
On Top Gun. What are you high look, Have you

00:50:08
seen that movie at all 80? 5 Not the new one.

00:50:11
Yeah, the old they didn't. Have the ramp, the ramp.

00:50:13
Look, no thing, alright? We're gonna have to have the

00:50:15
ramp. You're not going home.

00:50:16
We're gonna go, look, dude, we're gonna go.

00:50:18
I've seen that movie like 800 times.

00:50:20
I've seen 801 times. Anyway, you visited on that one

00:50:27
time? Yeah.

00:50:28
Yeah. So that extra time, I got it.

00:50:30
No, no. I'll ask you about that later,

00:50:33
because I could have sworn anyway, there's no ramp, dude.

00:50:36
Okay, okay, that answered my question.

00:50:39
Because it just feels like, it just feels like, man, it's just

00:50:43
that's just so much power and that's impressive tonight.

00:50:45
A lot of power. Did you know that the tiny hole?

00:50:50
In the passenger windows helps regulate cap and pressure, yeah.

00:50:53
I didn't even know there was a tiny hole.

00:50:55
You never know. You never seen?

00:50:56
That a tiny pinhole down at the bottom?

00:50:58
No. No, I freak out.

00:51:00
I'd be like, oh shit, Windows about it.

00:51:01
Just. Starts cracking.

00:51:04
I'd be like, why is there a hole?

00:51:05
There's something on the plane. Tim, one time I looked up on the

00:51:08
wing, on the wing, and there was duct tape.

00:51:10
It's not duct tape person. Look, I've seen this.

00:51:14
I'm like tick tock and shit. It's not duct.

00:51:17
Tape. I know what?

00:51:19
I know what duct tape looks like.

00:51:21
Yeah, I don't have to be a pilot.

00:51:22
It's not duct tape. It's called speed tape.

00:51:24
It's that frog tape. That way when they paint it,

00:51:27
there's no little paint creases. In there, Anything with tape on

00:51:30
a wing doesn't make me evil comfortable.

00:51:32
Can you explain that? Can you explain that to me?

00:51:35
Fuck me, little popsicle. Sticks and stuff in there.

00:51:37
You know why is there tape on the wing?

00:51:40
Tim Okay. So any.

00:51:42
Kind of tape scotched. Go ahead, she say.

00:51:46
Scotched Scotch tape. It's not duct tape.

00:51:50
All you tick tockers and all you people out there who post videos

00:51:53
of the airplane having duct tape on it.

00:51:56
That happening a lot. Have you not seen it?

00:51:58
It's like all over the place. This was this.

00:52:00
Happened to me personally, Tim. I know, but I'm just saying I've

00:52:02
seen this stuff on these social media.

00:52:04
So you have plenty not to see Tick Tock, but you won't listen

00:52:07
our fucking podcast Good. Asshole.

00:52:09
Good point. It's more good points, more

00:52:11
interesting. Whoa, whoa.

00:52:14
Just kidding. He's not getting a free tshirt.

00:52:15
I want a tshirt. Yeah, come on, come.

00:52:17
On for that bitch. Yeah, went from tshirt, pin and

00:52:19
coaster to just pen and. Coast, yeah.

00:52:21
We'll see what happens from beyond.

00:52:23
Go to coaster. I love you guys.

00:52:24
I wouldn't be here if I did. Like we know, Timmy Okay.

00:52:26
All right. So it's speed tape.

00:52:29
It's there because there was. A crack in the wing.

00:52:32
There's no crack. It's something that like.

00:52:36
Not yet, but it's getting there. It's starting.

00:52:39
I'm not gonna get there all. Right.

00:52:41
All right. I'll let you finish.

00:52:42
Okay. I'm sorry, I'll let you.

00:52:43
I'm not a mechanic. Okay.

00:52:44
So finish. This is my knowledge.

00:52:46
This is very surface Okay. But.

00:52:49
Where the duct tape is? Yeah, that's on the surface.

00:52:52
Let's move on. Sorry.

00:52:54
I mean, Trey. Shut up, man.

00:52:55
I'm sorry. No.

00:52:56
Man, no, no. It's just it's there to cover

00:52:59
something that's not broken. It's not broken.

00:53:02
There's nothing wrong with the airplane.

00:53:04
It's just there, like if they did.

00:53:06
We'll get Trey. Trey, I actually want to know

00:53:10
this answer. I'll.

00:53:11
Shut up. I'll shut up.

00:53:14
What? What would be something that

00:53:15
would be covered? So for example, I'll give you an

00:53:18
example because this this. I know this for a fact because I

00:53:21
had this happen in. Graffiti or?

00:53:26
All right. OK.

00:53:27
I'm so sorry. We really, I really do want to

00:53:29
know. I really do.

00:53:30
No you don't. Have you had this question?

00:53:31
You said? Have I had this question?

00:53:33
People have asked you this. You said I've heard people make

00:53:35
comments. Oh, OK.

00:53:36
Duct tape on the airplane, yeah. Right.

00:53:37
Why is it's called speed tape called speed?

00:53:40
It's actually metallic. OK.

00:53:41
So what's it covering? It's covering repairs that it

00:53:45
may have been made, right? Not nothing bad.

00:53:47
I'm talking like, OK, listen, I had to have a windscreen, a

00:53:51
windshield replaced, right? They replaced the windscreen.

00:53:55
They put the they do all the glue.

00:53:58
Just. I'm not.

00:53:59
Here's my. Glue.

00:54:01
Here's. It's monkey glue, dude.

00:54:04
Come on. No, no Gorilla Glue.

00:54:11
Gorilla. Now I'm ready to get on a plane.

00:54:19
I hate you both. I hate you both.

00:54:24
It's used to cover something with the.

00:54:26
I've learned so much. Oh my gosh.

00:54:28
Hey, I preface this by saying I'm not a mechanic.

00:54:31
Like, I'm trying to just give you just my surface knowledge,

00:54:35
but it's not duct tape and it's not holding anything together.

00:54:39
It's there to protect something underneath it.

00:54:41
OK. That's all it's there for.

00:54:44
Oh my gosh. I've learned so much tonight

00:54:49
that if the wing is about to break, there's a Gorilla glue in

00:54:56
duct tape. And speed.

00:55:03
Tape. I'm sorry.

00:55:04
Speed tape. Speed tape.

00:55:06
Holy shit. Y'all suck.

00:55:08
No, Tim, guys suck. Tim, come on.

00:55:13
It's covering something. Why?

00:55:16
Why didn't you give me some heads up on the question so I

00:55:19
could have done some research on it?

00:55:21
Because of this exact moment, do you know?

00:55:25
Do you know when people speed tape?

00:55:28
Do you know? When?

00:55:28
Oh my God. Do you know when you watch the

00:55:31
outtakes of a movie and everyone just can't stop laughing And

00:55:35
that's funnier than the movie? I'm hoping this is the case and

00:55:38
people are just getting a kick out of this because I throwed

00:55:42
her. This is the most we've Tim.

00:55:43
This is the most we've laughed in 41.

00:55:45
I'm glad I can be your comic. No, it's not.

00:55:47
No, it's not. But you can see how.

00:55:49
You can see how we would. No, it's funny.

00:55:51
No, it's funny. I know.

00:55:53
And I'm like, I'm like, I don't even know what to say.

00:55:56
No, but you shouldn't. You admitted that.

00:55:59
But that's the point is that if any pilot looks at me and says,

00:56:02
oh, that there's glue or well. It's just like your car

00:56:06
windshield. Like what do you think they

00:56:07
attach it with? It's not.

00:56:08
There's no you. Can't put it in my car.

00:56:10
You can't put a bolt through glass.

00:56:11
It's. Like cars in 35 feet in the

00:56:14
air with the temperature it's all like it's all been it's.

00:56:19
It's the OK, it's the same. We can go flies, so is.

00:56:22
This tape only used for aircrafts and shit like that.

00:56:25
Like, you can't, obviously you can't go to the hardware store

00:56:27
and just go get this kind of tape box.

00:56:29
Not that I know of, OK? I've never seen it at the

00:56:31
hardware store. So this is just like.

00:56:33
Like space shuttles and man, this is all like aircraft

00:56:37
approved stuff. I'm gonna see it at Home Depot.

00:56:40
Oh, fuck yeah. Speed tape.

00:56:41
Let's get this shit. Let's get it.

00:56:42
This must be but. It's not for broken shit you got

00:56:45
to put the Gorilla Glue on for. That man.

00:56:48
You have to cover up the graffiti and then use Gorilla

00:56:51
glue. Tim, we love you.

00:56:56
I mean, I look in all seriousness, In all seriousness,

00:57:01
I absolutely. Nobody's ever coming on our

00:57:03
show. I know I absolutely.

00:57:06
And again, I will say in all seriousness, dude, I completely,

00:57:10
100% respect what you do. And and it's one of those

00:57:16
careers and one of those. I hate to get all serious and

00:57:19
shit, but it's one of those. It's just like if we didn't have

00:57:22
you guys, I mean, people wouldn't be able to explore and

00:57:25
experience things in the world. And I'm being serious and it's

00:57:30
just such a. But it's fascinating to me

00:57:32
because there's so much that goes into it.

00:57:34
And that's why I, as anybody knows Trey and Tim and our

00:57:39
musical writer especially, I have a sometimes I get a little

00:57:45
fired up at things. But I usually don't when it

00:57:49
comes to this, because I I know how detailed and how much it

00:57:53
must suck to deal with so many people.

00:57:55
And it's not just as easy as like, why are we not taking off?

00:58:00
Like, why are we sitting here? It's not.

00:58:02
There's more to it. And you need everyone needs to

00:58:03
just shut the fuck up. Well, I can imagine.

00:58:05
Unless there's diarrhea involved down coming down the road, yeah.

00:58:08
But I can, and I can only imagine how much shit that they

00:58:11
deal with in a flight deck. Good job.

00:58:17
Yeah. We don't even know about you

00:58:18
want. You know, there's probably shit

00:58:20
that they figure out and fix and all kinds of shit that we don't

00:58:23
ever know about. Well, that's why there's a lot

00:58:25
of delay, little mechanical issues.

00:58:27
And even though they're probably so minor, Tim, and you can tell

00:58:30
me if I'm wrong, I always wonder if like how?

00:58:34
How minor? Like, is this a serious

00:58:36
mechanical issue or they usually just really like 99.9% of time

00:58:41
it's super minor. It's.

00:58:42
Just something. It's something typically that

00:58:45
you don't even need. Oh, OK, You know, it's like

00:58:48
it's. Just.

00:58:49
So little. Just in case, just in case.

00:58:53
In case, no, it's something that you wouldn't need to be safe,

00:58:56
you wouldn't need. You could successfully fly and

00:58:58
land the plane, right? And a lot of the systems are

00:59:00
redundant too. So just because one breaks, you

00:59:03
still have another one and you get.

00:59:04
Backup and all kinds of shit. Like that there should be 17

00:59:07
systems in case they all for safety.

00:59:11
Because again, my anxiety, flying a plane, not flying a

00:59:14
plane, but being in a plane, a commercial plane, is like not

00:59:19
knowing what's happening up front.

00:59:21
You you feel a little bit of this or you hear those fucking

00:59:24
Dings. I'm like.

00:59:26
Or you hear the pilot that say, oh shit, what the fuck was that?

00:59:32
To me, that's why I fly when I've flown and I'm going to

00:59:37
segue into this tray. When I've I've been fortunate

00:59:41
enough to fly Private a few times.

00:59:43
And when I fly Private, the captain is always like, let us

00:59:46
know if you need anything and you can see him.

00:59:49
So the only time I'm going to worry is if I look up and

00:59:52
they're like are. You seeing him shut the door?

00:59:56
Or like, yeah, you guys looked that you didn't look that way.

00:59:58
Or drink a little more, please. And so for me, it's not knowing

01:00:05
what's going on up there, but at the same time, I get it.

01:00:08
You can't. I'm gonna ask you a question,

01:00:11
Tim. I was debating asking you this.

01:00:14
Does this have to do with duct tape?

01:00:15
Again, I hope so. No.

01:00:18
But I'm gonna watch that second. Because it was that funny.

01:00:22
But let me ask you a question and this is intense.

01:00:27
Are you okay with that? I'm.

01:00:28
Gonna take my glasses off again. All right.

01:00:30
Yeah, let's do it. This is intense as somebody that

01:00:33
fears flying and has a very vivid imagination.

01:00:38
Should we hold hands during this?

01:00:39
No, no, that makes it worse. So if for some reason, let's

01:00:44
say, there was some sort of a big issue and the descent was

01:00:51
not, it was a little short of where it was supposed to be.

01:00:54
Let's just say you know you're going to make a crash landing

01:01:00
and you know you're going to make a crash landing.

01:01:03
Do you or do you not get on at some point on the intercom and

01:01:09
let everybody know what's happening?

01:01:14
What would you or is that up to you?

01:01:16
Is that up to. Yeah.

01:01:17
Is that a judgment call or is that something that the airline?

01:01:20
I think in that situation, I mean, every situation is

01:01:22
different, right? But I think in that situation,

01:01:25
if it's that bad, you're so busy you don't have time.

01:01:30
To get on the PA and say right ladies and gentlemen, we just

01:01:33
lost both engines and my gear and the tails falling off and

01:01:36
the duct tape is working anymore.

01:01:38
You know what time So going down the tail is falling off.

01:01:42
People will already flying. Out the back, yeah.

01:01:44
I mean it's it's but, but I guess my question the first

01:01:48
officer couldn't do it. A flight attendant couldn't do

01:01:51
it because it's not knowing. That freaks me out if you if

01:01:55
someone came on, look I don't want this if.

01:01:59
You want to know? No, no, I do.

01:02:01
That's what I'm saying. I want to know what's happening.

01:02:03
So if there's an issue, and what I don't want is at the very end

01:02:08
where you got 5 seconds and it's like, oh, brace for, brace for

01:02:11
crash landing, what the? Fuck no.

01:02:13
My, my, my whole thing. I want time to think and process

01:02:16
what's happening. My whole thing, and I've always

01:02:19
been this way. I always try and communicate

01:02:22
exactly what's going on to the passengers and I love that.

01:02:25
And I feel like because people. Want that.

01:02:27
They need that like you do. People want that.

01:02:29
They want to, especially if it's something little like, what

01:02:31
about you, Trey? You want that or you don't?

01:02:33
You'd rather just be like just take me down well.

01:02:37
And kind of to his point, the last thing I want him worried

01:02:40
about is making me feel better. I want him saving my fucking

01:02:43
ass, right? You know, don't don't get on the

01:02:45
intercom. Be like, you know what?

01:02:46
We're working through some shit up here.

01:02:49
You know, ask your your flight attendant for another drink and

01:02:52
we'll be back with you. But can it?

01:02:54
I mean, can't the first officer lie or somebody go really fast?

01:02:56
Just be like guys, we're working on it.

01:03:00
We're doing our best. Hey, let's be honest.

01:03:01
Anytime we make a PA, nobody's listening to what we're saying.

01:03:04
I listen to every fucking time I'm telling you I do and it's

01:03:07
because I'm nervous. Well then it cuts on the movie

01:03:10
off too. Or.

01:03:11
We had people get pinned. It's on the movie.

01:03:14
You're right. When the airplane, it's like,

01:03:15
yeah, Adams, like son of a bitch.

01:03:17
What do you have to say? But I but I do.

01:03:19
I listen. I mean, I'll stop it even if it

01:03:21
didn't. And I if, even if I'm watching

01:03:23
my laptop, I mean I I take my headphones off and I'm and I'm

01:03:26
and then half the time you can't hear it, 'cause it's loud.

01:03:28
The engine right in front of the fucking engine.

01:03:31
It's like maybe we're calling and I'm just like.

01:03:34
Your wife is snoring. You're like, shut up.

01:03:36
I'm like, did I just hear there was a problem with the engine?

01:03:39
Is that what he said and my wife will be like?

01:03:41
No, she he just said that. Enjoy your flight, right.

01:03:44
Yeah. So I was just curious that that.

01:03:47
Yeah. If if it's if it's that bad,

01:03:49
though, there's probably, you're probably not going to get

01:03:51
details. You're going to be like focus is

01:03:52
what's happening. Really.

01:03:53
Yeah. But we're going to talk to the

01:03:53
flight attendants and they're going to prepare everything.

01:03:55
Dennis Leary, do you remember him?

01:03:57
Yeah he's he did a joke once and he's like if I was a pilot and

01:04:01
and we knew we were going down you would look you would get on

01:04:05
the intercom and say folks light them up because we're going down

01:04:09
like you know for smokers and non-smoker that whole thing.

01:04:13
And and I can't decide whether I would I would want that how long

01:04:17
I'd want to process that or if I would want to not know.

01:04:21
But if you if you're outside and you're seeing this happen and

01:04:24
you're looking out the window you're going to know.

01:04:28
But to what extent? I mean, I mean, there's got to

01:04:31
be protocol for how to take a plane into a into a quote UN

01:04:34
quote, crash landing where you could survive.

01:04:40
Or or I mean the water. Which actually terrifies me more

01:04:43
because of the fucking orcas. Orcas scare you?

01:04:47
Well, if you, it will have timid.

01:04:48
Listen to our show. Yeah, I've been doing this.

01:04:50
Whole bits about orcas because they're all over in crazy shit

01:04:53
with the orcas that's happening. They're like attacking boats.

01:04:55
OK? Anyway, sharks and I didn't want

01:04:57
to crash the middle of the ocean.

01:04:59
I'd rather, I don't know and the people like would you rather

01:05:01
crash on land? I'm like, I don't know.

01:05:03
Water's scary. I don't like water either.

01:05:05
No, if I, if I had just offshore, just, yeah, just

01:05:08
offshore. Yeah, the Ocean's.

01:05:10
Yeah, too big and deep. Have you flown overseas?

01:05:15
Like when you say overseas, like over the water or well, over.

01:05:18
No, not over, not over. Like Lewisville.

01:05:22
I'm talking about like. I've been over the Gulf, over.

01:05:26
OK, over the. Gulf I'm actually land right but

01:05:28
but have you gone across the Atlantic not yet you're going to

01:05:32
because oh you don't. So if somebody came to you and

01:05:36
said we're promoting you to these 787.

01:05:40
That's the thing, yeah, I'm trying to learn.

01:05:42
It's a number. I tried it.

01:05:43
I said I sound like a new over and you, you're going to start

01:05:47
doing Europe or you're going to start doing whatever, Would you

01:05:49
do Australia? I mean, that's a long ass

01:05:52
flight. You definitely sleep during

01:05:53
that. Well, those flights, they have

01:05:56
relief crews and there's bunks, They're actually beds.

01:05:59
I don't know if I want to or the pilot anything, called the

01:06:01
relief crew. Yeah, you came out there.

01:06:04
I don't want the bee squad to. Get your ass 18.

01:06:10
You used to get that coffee going anyway, but would you?

01:06:14
Have you you've never had interested in Europe.

01:06:16
Australia's a whole. That's a whole different ball

01:06:18
game. What about when all the kids are

01:06:19
out of the house? Would you like?

01:06:20
No. I know interest would you

01:06:22
anything over 2? Hours.

01:06:23
My ass hurts so bad. Two hours like I can't.

01:06:26
Do anymore. So those seats are comfortable,

01:06:28
no? I don't know if that or just got

01:06:30
a little ass and it's just there's not enough cushion in

01:06:33
the. Kitchen back there.

01:06:33
I don't know my next. For cushion for the push, my

01:06:35
next 4 hour flight, an hour 2 1/2 to three.

01:06:38
I'm gonna be like, I bet our captain's uncomfortable, right?

01:06:41
His ass. His ass is numb.

01:06:42
Like, maybe we should relieve him eventually.

01:06:44
As the flight attendant, can you ask how his ass is doing for us,

01:06:47
please? Yeah, I need him in full focus

01:06:49
when we land. Exactly.

01:06:51
Anyway. Well, good stuff.

01:06:53
Let's let's move on. So I was curious, with all the

01:06:59
bullshit going on with guns and stuff like that, are you allowed

01:07:03
to carry a weapon as a I like that.

01:07:06
As a pilot, a regular gun, not like a machine gun.

01:07:11
Well, cuz when I see you guys come through the regular TSA

01:07:16
stuff, the security and stuff like that, I've never seen

01:07:18
somebody stop and. So there is a federal program

01:07:21
where pilots can go to training to do that if they if they

01:07:25
choose. If they choose to, they're not

01:07:27
forced. They're not forced to on any, as

01:07:29
far as your knowledge in any company.

01:07:32
Is forced to? No, it's all volunteer who?

01:07:34
Do you see many other pilots that do carry on occasion?

01:07:38
Yeah, yeah. Will you admit to your what you

01:07:42
do? What do I do?

01:07:43
Or. Or would you rather not say?

01:07:44
You don't, You don't have to say.

01:07:46
What do I do? Have you gone through the

01:07:47
program? Oh, I have not.

01:07:48
You've not gone through. Any interest?

01:07:50
No, you know, I had interest when I first started.

01:07:55
Do you think that that's do you think it's a good idea?

01:07:58
I, I, I honestly, I I don't. I don't think there's anything

01:08:01
wrong with it, you know, as long as you're properly trained.

01:08:03
Well, sure. Is it the only?

01:08:04
Is it only the pilots or can flight attendants do it?

01:08:07
It's only the pilot, OK? All of a sudden.

01:08:10
Well, I mean the flight attendant, but I mean the flight

01:08:12
attendant is going to be close to the situation most cases.

01:08:14
So it's like all of a sudden it's just the shootout.

01:08:16
I just you. Know it's more about, it's all

01:08:18
about protecting the cockpit, right?

01:08:20
Flight deck, you said cockpit. It is the trays right here.

01:08:23
That that makes sense. I I'm all for the program.

01:08:25
I think it's a great program. You know they're being trained

01:08:28
by federal officers to do this so yes or no you are you do you

01:08:32
plan to do it I. I no, I don't.

01:08:34
I, you know, I had a lot of interest in it first, especially

01:08:37
right after 911 when the program was started.

01:08:39
That was very that was a long time ago it.

01:08:41
Was very fresh though, right? It still is still.

01:08:43
Like it's still always. So it started because of 911.

01:08:46
It's all I had started. Wow, I didn't know.

01:08:48
I thought. I thought maybe it had been

01:08:49
long, like longer. No.

01:08:52
But I have so much confidence right now and like they've made

01:08:54
so many changes to the flight deck door and the procedures and

01:08:59
others, they've made so many changes and they've grown so

01:09:01
much since. Do they?

01:09:01
I don't. Did they use duct tape for the

01:09:03
flight do? They use speed tape.

01:09:07
It's stronger so they can't get in well, that's what I'm saying.

01:09:09
Yeah, so. Fuck yeah, let me ask.

01:09:11
And Gorilla Glue that combo is. There's no way you're getting

01:09:14
through that, so. Is that door?

01:09:15
Is Y'all's door bulletproof then?

01:09:17
Ooh, that's a good question. Sorry.

01:09:19
You're got. Trey's got good questions,

01:09:21
doesn't he? So.

01:09:23
Are you not allowed to say if you're not allowed to?

01:09:25
The only reason I'm asking is because if something.

01:09:27
Is a tricky thing like you can't really you don't want to share a

01:09:29
lot. Okay.

01:09:30
Because I'm fair enough and the only reason I'm asking and maybe

01:09:32
you can answer this a different way then, is if things go down

01:09:35
in the in the cabin, obviously you guys want to be able to

01:09:39
handle things to where you can get the plane down safely.

01:09:42
So is there? I mean, can somebody do legit

01:09:46
damage to where it can? Mess with you guys getting that

01:09:50
plane down safely, I mean. I can't speak onsecurity, okay.

01:09:54
That's something I can't do. No, that's fair.

01:09:56
Yeah, that's fair. Trey, calm down over there.

01:09:59
I'm joking. I'm joking.

01:10:00
I mean. And you guys don't want me to,

01:10:01
right? I mean, you want, you're right.

01:10:03
You want airplanes to be safe? Yeah.

01:10:04
No, we. Don't need things out there that

01:10:06
shouldn't be. That makes sense, yeah.

01:10:08
And the reason I ask is because here recently there was a woman,

01:10:11
if you listen to our show, she actually.

01:10:13
I listened to the first seven. I love how many times and we

01:10:16
said if you would listen to the show, Tim, I did.

01:10:18
She actually smuggled out of 41 go.

01:10:22
Now I know the airport is more secure, but she actually

01:10:24
smuggled a weapon in her fat fold into it.

01:10:28
Out a baseball game at a show. Why?

01:10:30
Yeah, White Sox game. The the the metal detector went

01:10:33
off multiple times but because of the size of this woman they

01:10:36
they didn't know what to. Look if they had the tab.

01:10:39
On the metal detector. Well, she would have to buy a

01:10:41
second seat, but that's true. Yeah.

01:10:43
Yeah, I mean second seat at the White Sox game.

01:10:46
Imagine if they implemented that at sports games.

01:10:49
Sorry, ma'am. Yeah, buy another seat.

01:10:52
That's an extra 9 bucks in the nose bleeds.

01:10:53
They said that she went through multiple times.

01:10:55
It kept setting off the detector, but they didn't know

01:10:58
what else to check. So it's like and you can't be

01:11:01
like then you can't. What are you gonna say as the

01:11:04
guy here? You'd be like, can you lift up

01:11:05
your fat? But I'm assuming.

01:11:07
I'm assuming at the airport they would have taken her to a room,

01:11:10
checked her there. Yeah, sure.

01:11:12
They, I mean you see that all the time, right?

01:11:13
They've got they even give you the option if you go through

01:11:15
that little machine and they see something like do you want a

01:11:18
private screening or. Yeah, OK, but but so how do you

01:11:23
feel about guns overall though? Just real fast.

01:11:25
Real fast. Because.

01:11:26
As far as what? Well, just anything, because

01:11:30
you're saying tell me you're not going to do the program.

01:11:33
I own guns. I'm you own gun.

01:11:35
So you don't you're not going to do the program for the plane,

01:11:37
but you're you own guns on the on on land.

01:11:41
On the ground. On land?

01:11:42
Yeah. Yeah, I do.

01:11:44
OK, I do. You know, we did an episode

01:11:46
about guns. I was in the first seven.

01:11:48
I was a little upset with a long time ago.

01:11:50
You were upset with Trey. What I do Trey had a lot of

01:11:54
miss. Whoa, this.

01:11:56
Hold on. This is what our listeners want

01:11:59
to hear. You were upset with Trey on his,

01:12:01
you say, misinformed. I think I texted you too.

01:12:04
Like, what the hell was that, man?

01:12:05
OK, that was you. Can you give me, can you give me

01:12:07
one example? Do you remember?

01:12:09
I wanted there was something about automatic weapons and

01:12:12
people owning automatic. Yeah, and you made the reference

01:12:15
to a R White. Yeah, OK.

01:12:17
Yeah. Well, yeah.

01:12:21
It drove me nuts, man. Whoa, look at you shaking.

01:12:24
I don't even know. I don't even know how to say it

01:12:26
so. Oh God.

01:12:29
I'm frightened now, just if you want to just go over there to

01:12:32
slap them and then we can end the show you.

01:12:33
Saw how frustrated you got with the duct tape.

01:12:35
It's not it. It's not just you.

01:12:38
Like a lot of people, they they they hear these words in the

01:12:41
media. They don't actually do their own

01:12:42
research, gotcha. And they just hear stuff and

01:12:45
they just assume that it's right.

01:12:47
Right. A lot of people call anything

01:12:53
AR15 okay. Do you know what a R stands for?

01:12:57
Is that not? Hold on?

01:12:59
Oh, come on. I did.

01:12:59
Really. Well, I want to say it's a it's

01:13:02
an automatic rifle, but that's not right, is it that?

01:13:05
Does a lot of people think? Right.

01:13:06
That's not right. I remember.

01:13:07
I I bullshit. That's what I thought it.

01:13:09
That's. Not right.

01:13:10
Yeah, it's it's not an automatic, right.

01:13:13
But no, I don't know what it is. An assault rifle.

01:13:15
No Man assault Arma Arma light rifle.

01:13:19
It's a manufacturer of a gun. AR is a Samsonite swami swami.

01:13:27
I was way off. Armalite.

01:13:29
Armalite. And it's what manufacturer

01:13:32
rifle. Armalite.

01:13:34
So the 15. Armalite rifle.

01:13:36
Fifteen AR15. If you remember either growing

01:13:38
up, watch the old movies. Vietnam movies.

01:13:40
Right. And they're carrying those black

01:13:42
guns with that looks like a handle.

01:13:43
Yeah. That's an.

01:13:44
That's an. That's an actual Armalite rifle,

01:13:47
OK? OK, that's what they are.

01:13:48
So. So I guess you can't just say

01:13:50
everything's an AR15. Every, every gun out there is is

01:13:54
a certain caliber. OK, right.

01:13:56
SO22 So there are a lot of Ar's arma are malicious.

01:14:01
Arma Light is a manufacturer for example I own.

01:14:04
If I showed you a picture you would think like you you would

01:14:05
probably you guys would probably call it Ruger.

01:14:08
Ruger's A manufacturer. Like I know.

01:14:09
I know, Ruger. Winchester's a manufacturer.

01:14:11
Whole 45 No. Cold manufacturer, Yeah, Panther

01:14:15
arms manufacturer. There's a lot of different

01:14:18
manufacturers making guns. It's the style.

01:14:21
That you're looking at and everybody seems to call it an

01:14:23
AR, but those guns are no different just because it looks

01:14:28
like a military style gun. I did the air quotes for those

01:14:31
that aren't watching. It doesn't.

01:14:34
Everyone's watching that it's any different than that style of

01:14:38
wood grain. Rifle that you would see

01:14:40
somebody hunting with. So for someone saying if someone

01:14:43
says AR rifle there, that's just they're speaking incorrectly.

01:14:46
They're speaking incredibly incorrectly.

01:14:47
OK, so they if someone says assault rifle, that's what they

01:14:50
mean assault rifle. But if you say AR15 but.

01:14:54
What is an assault rifle? I don't.

01:14:56
I don't know. I'm asking you.

01:14:57
It doesn't mean anything. Every gun is, and you can.

01:15:00
What about? Hunting rifle could be in what?

01:15:01
No, no, no. I think what everybody means is

01:15:04
automatic. There, yet that was in there

01:15:07
too. Automatic and right.

01:15:09
Are you pointing at me for being right?

01:15:10
Pointing at you both were being wrong.

01:15:14
If we had all our listeners on, we get that a lot, yeah.

01:15:17
Yeah. So.

01:15:18
Do your own research. Do your own, your own automatic,

01:15:22
whatever automatic, it doesn't mean you.

01:15:25
You can't just own an automatic rifle.

01:15:26
It's just, you can't. Yeah.

01:15:27
But I know. I know plenty.

01:15:29
I know I do. And they're.

01:15:31
People too. Now, I'm not saying that people

01:15:33
don't do it illegally. No, no, no.

01:15:35
But I know people that have done it legally and what do you have

01:15:37
to go through like a lot? I heard it's a process.

01:15:40
I haven't done it. I don't know.

01:15:41
I don't. I don't.

01:15:42
Your big issue is the fact that we were just tossing around like

01:15:46
AR and assault rifle. And things like that.

01:15:49
And people and people will say assault rifle is bad.

01:15:53
You know, we need to ban assault rifles.

01:15:54
Well, you're saying, well, what does that even mean?

01:15:57
Because what I'm saying is it may look like a military style

01:16:00
weapon to any to anybody. But that just because it looks

01:16:04
that way, it doesn't act any differently than the one that's

01:16:07
in wood when a wood grain casing, right?

01:16:10
They're all semiautomatic rifles.

01:16:12
If you pull the trigger, it shoots.

01:16:13
You let go. You have to pull it again for to

01:16:15
shoot again. Doesn't matter what that looks

01:16:17
like. You can do it quickly.

01:16:18
That's the argument. But you can do that with

01:16:20
anything, right? You can do it with a.

01:16:21
You can do it with a 22. You can go, you know.

01:16:25
It doesn't matter. That's that exactly what a 22

01:16:27
sounds like. Yeah, the way.

01:16:28
It's it's it's kind of a pingy thing.

01:16:31
Well, so when you know Alexandra Cortez, what's her AOC?

01:16:37
AOC gets all angry and says, hey, let's we need to ban all

01:16:41
these assault weapons. What is she really saying?

01:16:44
Or is it more the automatic weapons though?

01:16:46
But she says us. I mean they.

01:16:47
Well, that's a good question, though does it say assault?

01:16:50
There's no definition of assault.

01:16:51
What's an assault rifle? Because the one that, like I

01:16:54
said, you may may look like a military style weapon, but it

01:16:57
doesn't do anything different than any other gun out there

01:17:01
that's a semi automatic rifle. That doesn't look like a

01:17:03
military style, right? Like, it's just it's stupid,

01:17:05
Tim. What about the guns from like

01:17:06
the Civil War where you had to like?

01:17:08
The musket in the ball and must ram it in there.

01:17:11
That's a little different than it.

01:17:12
Is talk about that a little bit more?

01:17:14
Something in there in case you if you haven't fallen asleep

01:17:17
yet, let's talk about the Civil War and the type of weaponry.

01:17:21
No, no. But for what you're saying now

01:17:23
is that there are plenty of weapons and plenty of guns that

01:17:26
are able to do what people are claiming the automatics do.

01:17:31
Yeah, they they think that anything that looks like its

01:17:33
military is an automatic weapon. Well, that's interesting debate,

01:17:37
because I never thought about just the visual aspect of it.

01:17:39
Well that's and I think the visuals, what scares people,

01:17:41
they see this gun, I think, oh, but if you put that same gun and

01:17:46
just change out the casing and put it in a in a wood type, you

01:17:50
know, like you're going out hunting like you just you know.

01:17:53
Rifle That's they would. It wouldn't be scary to them.

01:17:56
Well, and I'm wondering, is it more the fact that they're

01:17:58
worried about the fact you can just.

01:18:00
Pull the trigger and just mow down somebody that's that, but

01:18:03
that's what they claim. I'm saying is that what more

01:18:06
people are worried about is what's the need of having it

01:18:08
automatic. That's what they're claiming.

01:18:10
I don't know I I I don't know what the need of it is.

01:18:14
Because I've got buddies of mine live in beautiful areas,

01:18:17
suburban neighborhood. But that's not what it's about.

01:18:19
We've talked about this. And they're they.

01:18:22
I want to protect my family. Okay.

01:18:24
Well, cool. I've never seen.

01:18:26
I mean, in my 44 years of living, I can protect your

01:18:29
family. Well, I've never seen a zombie

01:18:32
apocalypse. I've never seen a government

01:18:34
overthrow. I've never seen any point where

01:18:36
we don't live in gangland, you know?

01:18:39
So it's like, what do you need the automatic weapon for?

01:18:42
And that's kind of what? My question for even even I was

01:18:45
never in the military, but from people I've talked to, they

01:18:48
don't even there's an option for them to click it the automatic

01:18:51
right? But they don't use that because

01:18:52
it's not even accurate. They typically have it on a

01:18:54
burst or or a single semi automatic type.

01:18:58
Style so that they can aim, shoot, aim, shoot.

01:19:01
Yeah, you know, but they don't give a shit if it's accurate.

01:19:05
They're just fucking shooting, you know?

01:19:07
Well, but. You have to be accurate to hit

01:19:08
stuff. Well, I mean, if you're just

01:19:10
unless, you're going like you're mowing people down.

01:19:12
Yeah. Well that's why there's

01:19:13
licensing for that stuff. But but I mean but that's their,

01:19:16
that's what that's what they're saying is that if you can just

01:19:19
kind of go you're going to hit people in a crowd excuse me.

01:19:23
And so that's that's the the the issue is is automatic is the

01:19:29
right way and not assault. If you say automatic, that's

01:19:32
different. So you say an automatic weapon

01:19:35
now you're hearing that's what they want.

01:19:37
Let's ban we need to ban this. And my comment to Trey in the

01:19:40
past has been all right. So there's other methods besides

01:19:44
automatic weaponry. Somebody wants to, wants to hurt

01:19:47
a lot of people. You know, throw a bomb in the

01:19:50
crowd. They confuse their car.

01:19:52
Well, that's what I'm saying. And that's, that's the argument

01:19:55
to, you know, okay, we're not going to ban guns.

01:19:57
I get that. Why don't we focus on the mental

01:20:00
health of some of these people? You know, like, how do we get to

01:20:03
this point? Where Trey gets the mental.

01:20:05
I decide that's what that's what I've always argued is the mental

01:20:07
aspect of it. When are we going to look into

01:20:10
that? Because obviously when these gun

01:20:11
issues happen, so. Gets shot up.

01:20:13
It's oh, well the guns is what killed them.

01:20:15
Well, no, this this person got bullied.

01:20:18
Got whatever. They've got mental issues and

01:20:21
that's that was their act. That's not what they want to

01:20:23
talk about. They want to talk.

01:20:24
About they want to talk about the guns.

01:20:25
Everything is being politicized, right?

01:20:27
Everything is a political issue because somebody's got to win

01:20:29
and somebody's got to lose. Yeah, and that's a great way to

01:20:33
put it. Every in every issue, every

01:20:36
issue. It's not about just the

01:20:37
election. Win or lose, it's if you and I

01:20:41
are sitting here right now, we had one of our first guests, I

01:20:44
think she might have been our first guest of a woman named

01:20:48
Jess. And she's very opposite of you

01:20:50
in a lot of views. And that's the point is that if

01:20:55
you guys were sitting here, I feel like it would be about

01:20:58
who's going to win. And that's the problem with

01:21:02
everybody else out there is that everybody's like, well, who's

01:21:04
going to win this argument? Well, it's not about winning and

01:21:06
losing, it's about coming to a a rational solution.

01:21:09
But the last, well, there are two quick things.

01:21:13
Last thing is anybody that knows and listens to the show knows

01:21:16
that we've talked about you, Tim.

01:21:18
Did you know that? We've talked about you.

01:21:19
I've listened to the first seven episodes.

01:21:21
Well, it hasn't been then. It's been recent about your

01:21:25
fantasy football victory last year, yeah?

01:21:27
It was so sweet too, wasn't it? Look how excited.

01:21:30
He didn't care about anything else tonight except for fantasy.

01:21:33
Oh my gosh. So tell me exactly what your

01:21:36
strategy was in last year's draft as we all sat together?

01:21:42
Sure, and it's simple. It's a very simple.

01:21:44
It's a simple strategy and because look.

01:21:46
You made fun of me at the beginning of the show for it.

01:21:48
No, no football. A fantasy football is taken very

01:21:51
seriously and we have listeners that want to know how to win and

01:21:55
you won last year all. Right.

01:21:57
I'm gonna tell. So tell us.

01:21:58
It's a really big secret, and it's very it's a big secret,

01:22:03
it's. A big secret.

01:22:03
Go ahead. It's very specialized way of

01:22:05
doing things. You do it by uniform colors,

01:22:12
you're right. And names in names of the

01:22:15
players, names of the players like.

01:22:18
It's that simple. But what so naming that you

01:22:20
like? Or a name that you think fits

01:22:22
the position well? Or.

01:22:24
For example, last year for my kicker, I picked Matt Gay, Matt

01:22:27
Gay. Yeah, and he I knew nothing

01:22:31
about him at the time other than his last name was gay.

01:22:35
I thought that was fantastic. You you like that?

01:22:38
I like, was flaming hot, but but I mean, why would?

01:22:41
Not in a like, I'm not not gonna make fun way.

01:22:43
I just think that guy, his last name is gay.

01:22:45
He's probably overcome a lot of ridicule.

01:22:48
You think, oh, you think he's able to perform because he's

01:22:52
dealt with a? That was my thought last year.

01:22:54
This guy's lame. Like, I've got in last name.

01:22:57
We're not going to say it, but I've got a last name, right?

01:23:00
And you know, absolutely right, you know, I would do anything to

01:23:04
say it, but. There's so many variations we

01:23:06
can. That's another 5 minutes of just

01:23:08
laughing. Yeah, so I get it.

01:23:11
We'll do 5 minutes of laughing after the show, yeah.

01:23:13
So I picked him. I do nothing about him.

01:23:15
It turns out he's like the best kicker in the NFL.

01:23:18
Right. Look at his performance last

01:23:19
week. He did see, look at me like 20

01:23:21
points. Look how intense he is.

01:23:22
It was fantastic, Right. OK, so that uniform colors.

01:23:27
OK, Who's your favorite team based on uniform?

01:23:29
Do you have one? I remember what you used to say.

01:23:32
It was it. Used to it.

01:23:33
Used to be the charger. Yeah, the chargers.

01:23:35
You. Had that blue in the lightning,

01:23:37
the light. Yeah, man, that was fantastic.

01:23:39
Absolutely. I can't argue that.

01:23:41
We can't argue. Right.

01:23:42
And it was just that simple and but you say but you said it used

01:23:47
to be, So what is the current? Well, now it's the Bengals.

01:23:50
I love the They got it. They got a pretty cool uniform,

01:23:53
right? And plus, that's like one of my

01:23:54
rival teams. I love Joe Burrows well.

01:23:57
I mean. What do you think about the

01:23:58
white The White Helmets with the like?

01:24:01
He didn't watch it every week. Oh, got you.

01:24:03
Got it. Watch every week.

01:24:04
You do. I do now.

01:24:06
I got because of the fantasy. You saw their uniforms last

01:24:09
night. I did the all white.

01:24:11
What do you think? I didn't like them.

01:24:12
You you really, you want one of the black and the orange.

01:24:15
The more in your face. Yeah, like.

01:24:17
Stuff, you know? Yeah, Cincinnati.

01:24:23
I just, I can't. I just.

01:24:25
I can't like Cincinnati. That's good for you because I

01:24:28
there are one of our rivals as a Steeler fan.

01:24:31
Trey actually likes the Steeler uniforms.

01:24:33
I do. Unfortunately, I do yellow pants

01:24:36
black. But I am very much a Charger.

01:24:38
I like the Charger uniforms too. So yeah, I you know, if I had to

01:24:41
choose one uniform, I'm not sure who it would be.

01:24:43
Maybe that'll be our next next conversation.

01:24:46
But so you use names and uniforms.

01:24:48
Yeah, that's OK. Look and who?

01:24:50
Who won? Who won last year?

01:24:51
The whole thing, Yeah. Well, that's true.

01:24:53
And that's why we laughed at this year's draft.

01:24:55
I told Trey this year. I reminded him that you told me

01:24:59
I'm looking as you pick for this year's draft and it was like the

01:25:02
same players as last year. And I texted you, I texted you

01:25:06
and I was like, this is almost the same team is a different

01:25:10
year. You're like, hey, they they they

01:25:11
took it. They took me there last year, so

01:25:15
here we go. If you win again, I'm gonna go

01:25:18
for those same players next year and I'm gonna try and beat you

01:25:21
to. Joe Burrow's gotta get the

01:25:24
injuries under control. Yeah, he'll be alright.

01:25:26
He'll be alright. He'll be alright.

01:25:28
I can't depend on that real fast.

01:25:30
Like real fast. We do a segment every show, if

01:25:34
you fucking listen, it's called, it's called an awareness of

01:25:40
selfawareness. And what we do is we basically

01:25:43
bitch about people that need to be more selfaware.

01:25:46
And I thought maybe you would have something in the airline

01:25:49
industry you have to of a passenger, a flight attendant,

01:25:54
stewardess, a flight. Attendant, flight attendant, and

01:25:59
your first mate. First officer, it's not a boat

01:26:04
man. And that or somebody some way in

01:26:09
your job, in your profession that has caused that, that makes

01:26:13
you go God, they need to be more selfaware.

01:26:15
Do you have anything like that? So I love my passengers, right?

01:26:20
I know I love them. Every passenger.

01:26:22
I mean, I love them, OK? Sounds like he's been told the

01:26:27
same. I mean, I'm.

01:26:29
Just that's part of them, the training manual.

01:26:32
I'm just, I'm just going to say it, OK, do it.

01:26:35
Walking through the terminal, right people, you're not even in

01:26:40
the plane, you're. Talking.

01:26:41
About in the airport, in the terminal, walking to your gate,

01:26:45
OK. If you're not going to walk at a

01:26:48
decent pace, get get to the side.

01:26:51
And please don't just stop in the middle of They just stop,

01:26:55
Trey. They just stop.

01:26:57
Oh my gosh, these sound these sound familiar, don't they?

01:27:00
For that, Yeah, both of us. You.

01:27:02
Said the same to me. We've said this in the past,

01:27:06
it's like a group of family or somebody stops in the middle and

01:27:10
they're like, let's let's talk about let's catch up or yeah, it

01:27:13
is in the middle. Of the walk or the kid is acting

01:27:16
up. So we're going to stop right

01:27:17
here in the middle of everybody. We're going to beat the shit out

01:27:19
of a little Jimmy real quick and and then move on.

01:27:22
Everybody's got a part of the Seas to go around these.

01:27:25
It's insane. So there's that one.

01:27:26
That's my big one. Yeah, that's a big one.

01:27:29
I mean, and that's the lines all over the place if you don't

01:27:32
congregate in the middle of a damn line.

01:27:35
Walking people got to get places like get out of the way.

01:27:38
Actually the pilot. Be self aware, be self aware,

01:27:40
right. That's the name of the segment,

01:27:43
yes. Sorry.

01:27:44
No, I thought. It just popped in my head.

01:27:46
Especially if you have a uniform on like 10 does move out of the

01:27:49
way people man through. It's just that's not how it

01:27:52
works. But so I've got to my second

01:27:55
one. A lot of people will think that

01:27:57
it probably should have been my first one, but it's not because

01:28:00
the people in the wake, it's really bother me, but.

01:28:04
So I travel, yes, I fly the airplane.

01:28:06
And a lot of times I'm in the back too, right?

01:28:08
What does that mean? It means I'm flying in the back

01:28:11
of the airplane as a passenger, going oh, oh, you're just OK,

01:28:15
you're riding. I thought you were fly.

01:28:16
I thought they had maybe a back cockpit.

01:28:18
No, I'm just. Like this is news to me.

01:28:21
Like like a train are. You fighting each other.

01:28:23
The front thing you're trying to OK anyway, so.

01:28:26
I'm riding in the back. Just kidding.

01:28:27
Go ahead. I think, I think an airplane is

01:28:30
the last place on earth we're all social.

01:28:33
Anything goes totally out the door, right?

01:28:37
Okay social anything? You are.

01:28:39
Because, I mean, you are. You are so close to each other,

01:28:42
right? I mean, you're packed in.

01:28:43
You're you're sitting next to a stranger.

01:28:46
Your legs are touching. Your arms are touching.

01:28:48
Yeah, like trade, likes those movements trade like stuff.

01:28:51
That's the only reason I. Fly.

01:28:54
That's why I don't wait. When we fly together, we don't

01:28:56
get a ticket next week. So people, people, I think

01:28:59
people in these situations feel that.

01:29:02
There's so many people, they're close together and they fart.

01:29:06
I've done that. And they don't stop.

01:29:08
And they don't stop. Of course you are.

01:29:10
Nobody knows who it is, right? Because it's easy.

01:29:13
You're like my Did you smell that?

01:29:16
Who did that? Look, even I.

01:29:18
And I'm embarrassed Even when people don't know who it is.

01:29:21
I don't like to do that. But when I've done it before,

01:29:23
I'm like, yeah. Did you smell that?

01:29:27
And you're just looking around? And of course, when I'm with my

01:29:28
kids, it's. Oh, you blame the kids?

01:29:30
Well, I'm like, I'm sorry, you know.

01:29:32
Dinner smells good tonight. I swear my three.

01:29:34
I my 3 year old goes bullshit dad.

01:29:38
Was it me? Yeah.

01:29:40
Yeah. He points at me.

01:29:41
Yeah. Yeah.

01:29:42
No. Yeah, no, that's the worst.

01:29:44
And you can't get away from it. And it just keeps going and

01:29:46
going well. But you're not, Oh my gosh,

01:29:49
you're confined space. That airplane is a tube.

01:29:51
It's a tube. But you wouldn't.

01:29:53
People wouldn't normally do. Do that anywhere else, but for

01:29:56
some reason it's rampant. Yeah, sure.

01:29:58
Why do either of you take shits on the plane?

01:30:03
I have before. Well, I know you have.

01:30:05
I have Never ever. I can't.

01:30:07
You're right. I'm with you.

01:30:09
I'm with you. Even so.

01:30:11
My body and my pooping cycle. Pooping cycle.

01:30:17
It's very regiment, is why we have a pilot on the show right

01:30:20
pooping. Cycle, yeah, It is very

01:30:22
regimented, like I've got a certain time, certain place that

01:30:25
I have to be for it to happen. And if I'm not there, it doesn't

01:30:28
happen. So when I leave to go fly, well,

01:30:31
yours is about timing. Mine, it might.

01:30:34
No, my, my, my body is time and place.

01:30:37
I have to be at home. Yep.

01:30:39
And it has between the hours of seven and 7:30 in the morning.

01:30:42
Oh, whoa. Well, that's the.

01:30:43
Home field advantage. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:30:45
But that's real detail. It's.

01:30:47
Oh, it is. It's weird. 736 and you haven't.

01:30:49
You're like, oh shit. And no matter.

01:30:51
So I leave on a trip I. I can't poop at a hotel.

01:30:55
I can't do it. Really.

01:30:56
No. So I'll be gone for four days

01:30:58
and I can go the entire time. No, man.

01:31:00
Even. No matter how much I physically

01:31:02
want to do it between 7:00 and 7:30, my body will not let it

01:31:07
happen. Not healthy.

01:31:08
As soon as I get home. God game.

01:31:11
Done. It's all cleaned out.

01:31:13
Your wife, your wife's life like your wife, it's like let me

01:31:16
know. It's four hours later like, let

01:31:19
me know. It is.

01:31:20
It is no. Wonder he hasn't been on the

01:31:22
show. He's.

01:31:23
All blocked up. He's busy taking a shoot.

01:31:25
I can't. Four days, yeah.

01:31:27
No, that ain't happening for me. If I'm lucky enough and I don't,

01:31:30
and I and I leave after 7:30 to go to the airport and I can get

01:31:34
it done that first day, then it's only that's so interesting

01:31:36
a hotel. Like I can't do it for I'm in

01:31:38
hotel. Can't do it to me.

01:31:39
It is the airline. It's the bathroom in the

01:31:42
airline. Well, that's just yeah, no, like

01:31:44
we're trying. We're talking people like

01:31:45
banging there and stuff. They do.

01:31:48
Was that a? That's a good question real

01:31:50
quick and we'll end on that. We'll end on that.

01:31:52
Trey, do you have anything else tonight?

01:31:54
No, let's end on that Mile High Club.

01:31:58
What do you think is a is a pilot?

01:32:00
As a captain, do you think that happens more than people think?

01:32:04
I I would. I mean just no, you're honest.

01:32:08
I mean, be honestly, be honest. It probably.

01:32:11
Does Have you joined the Mile High Club?

01:32:13
Not Oh, it's either have you? I.

01:32:15
Haven't either. You haven't.

01:32:17
Well, he said you can't. I don't.

01:32:20
Masturbating yourself doesn't. Count.

01:32:23
No, no, it doesn't count. You have to.

01:32:26
There has to be some. Especially since y'all caught

01:32:27
me, but last night there has to be another woman or man that

01:32:31
takes care of it. You have to enter an orifice,

01:32:33
but I figured that actually happens.

01:32:35
I think it's a thing. I really believe that if I see a

01:32:39
like a woman get up and go and then a minute later some other

01:32:43
dude and you need to. Yeah, like.

01:32:46
I'm so fucking tight though. Yeah, they're tough, but, well,

01:32:50
you deal with it. Yeah, that's true.

01:32:51
You kind of have to be close to each other when you're you know.

01:32:54
Yeah. Not that I wouldn't want to, but

01:32:56
yeah. That shocks me that you haven't

01:32:58
had the. Experience.

01:32:59
I haven't. Why?

01:33:01
Let's talk about. It because he's out of every

01:33:02
other experience that. OK all right.

01:33:05
Let's. Yeah.

01:33:05
Why is that not? Why does that shock you?

01:33:08
I want to know. Lifestyle club.

01:33:12
So you've listened to more than you let on because the lifestyle

01:33:15
club came later than anyway. Well, I've hung out with Trey

01:33:19
outside of the show. I'm joking, Tim.

01:33:23
This has been so much fun. Dude, I had a good.

01:33:25
I hope you had a good time. I did.

01:33:27
I hope you come back. I no expectations on when but

01:33:31
it's but yes. I do hope you do come back.

01:33:33
Yeah, this was this was a blast. And all you have to do is let us

01:33:36
know. If you have some time, say, hey,

01:33:38
I'd like to jump on the Yeah, Trey, we can deal with these

01:33:42
details after the show. I'm sorry.

01:33:44
No, that's fine, Ari. Yeah.

01:33:45
No, I had a good time. Yeah.

01:33:47
Let's talk about all of our logistics that we do on the air,

01:33:51
if you will, Dave. No, I'm kidding.

01:33:54
But I think I speak for Trey, hopefully.

01:33:56
I mean, this was blasts. I mean, I don't think I've

01:33:59
laughed as hard as I laughed about the duct tape and the

01:34:01
grill glue. So thank you for that.

01:34:04
It's not covering it. It's.

01:34:08
I'm still laughing shit together.

01:34:09
I'm not. I'm not going to think about it

01:34:11
until we're done because I'm going to laugh.

01:34:13
But I'll tell you what, and you know, I'll do this end of every

01:34:17
show, you know, the main three places to watch is Spotify.

01:34:22
YouTube and X. Are you listening?

01:34:25
Yeah, that's right. I just added two of those

01:34:27
tonight. There you go.

01:34:28
Nice. My man and X slash Twitter slash

01:34:32
whatever Elon wants to call it. These guys.

01:34:35
Those are the three places that you can watch that the video is,

01:34:38
is, is there if you want to listen and not watch.

01:34:41
We understand because of the way we look, sure.

01:34:44
I'm pretty hot though. Well, yeah, tonight you need to

01:34:47
check Tim out. Sexy bit.

01:34:52
Unfortunately, since Ryan's an editor, it always is a video of

01:34:56
him. So yeah, basically you're going

01:34:57
to see Tim maybe like 4 seconds and now I'm kidding.

01:35:02
That's that's not true. But but check it out and if you

01:35:06
like to listen, listen anywhere podcasts are found, we still

01:35:11
have a little bit of merch that's left.

01:35:12
I've been sending some out, so let us know if you want some of

01:35:16
that. And we love you guys.

01:35:20
Anything else tonight? I I just feel like I could go on

01:35:23
for hours with Timmy. Yeah, we got to go, yeah.

01:35:26
My butt's starting to hurt. It's my bedtime.

01:35:33
I got one guy in my butt hurts the other guy in my past.

01:35:35
My bedtime. I'm going to I'm going to have

01:35:37
another cocktail and enjoy. Just starting to edit this show.

01:35:40
So we had we had a great time tonight and we love you guys.

01:35:43
See you later later. Bye Tim.

01:35:47
See you. Love you guys.

01:36:11
Can you imagine if this person that had the diarrhea was

01:36:14
actually going to meet up with somebody for that Mile High

01:36:16
club? Oh.

01:36:18
Trey, what the hell? Maybe that's when it happens.

01:36:22
Holy shit. Literally.

01:36:24
They'd both be dribbling, then.